Who's Who

A programmer is someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

An auditor is someone who arrives after the battle and bayonets all the wounded.

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain. (Mark Twain)

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday did not happen today.

A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

A mathematician is a blind man in a dark room looking for a black cat that is not there.

A topologist is a man who does not know the difference between a coffee cup and a doughnut.

A lawyer is a person who writes a 10,000-word document and calls it a "brief."

A psychologist is a man who watches everyone else when a beautiful girl enters the room.

A professor is one who talks in someone else's sleep.

A consultant is someone who takes the watch off your wrist and tells you the time.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to Antarctica in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.

Source: www.mikeysFunnies.com