The 7 Cries of Today’s Teens

For several years now the Gallup Poll has surveyed thousands of teenagers to discover their most important needs. The seven needs listed below have been in the teen’s “top 10” list for the last 6 years.

1. The need to be trusted. Teens believe that their elders distrust them and regard them as rresponsible and unpredictable. Teens today want to be taken seriously – and we, as their parents, would be wise to create an environment at home that allows them to earn that trust.
2. The need to be understood and loved. Please note that the teens who responded to the survey did not asked to be “fixed and made whole.” I believe they know their lives are in heavy transition at this point. But the data from the research is clear that teens tend to believe that their elders do not understand them. Teens crave to be listened to and loved . . . preferably by parents or guardians. (And if they don’t get this need met by you, Mom and Dad, they’ll go somewhere else!)
3. The need to feel safe and secure. Say what? Wild, reckless, self-confident teenagers who know no fear need to feel safe? That’s right. They need to know their home is secure and their school is safe. Sadly these days such is not always the case.
4. The need to believe that life is meaningful and has a purpose. Studies show that this is a growing need in the populace as a whole. Society in general is realizing that there are moral absolutes – and I’m convinced that Millennials (pre-teens and teenagers) can be the transitional generation for bringing spiritual revival to the world!
5. The need to be listened to – to be heard. Though this might sound like #2, there’s a huge difference between feeling “understood” and “listened to.” The latter takes time, and the breathless pace we lead our lives doesn’t make that possible. As parents, we need to make sure our kids know they are being listened to and being heard.
6. The need to be appreciated and valued. A poor self-image is a key factor in anti-social behavior . . . just ask the residents of Columbine and Paducah. Roughly one-third of all respondents to the Gallup survey indicated they felt worthless and unappreciated.
7. The need to be supported in their efforts. This means anything from helping with homework to showing up at Little League or soccer games. Its one thing to get your kids involved in a lot of activities; the real benefit to your children, however, is when Mom and Dad also participate.

By and large, teens remain eternally optimistic, particularly about their personal futures. At the same time, however, they are apprehensive about the future of society as they face a host of problems that simply were not on the scene just a few decades ago.

They need you adults to stand in the gap with them. They have a heavy load to bear. But, with God’s help, you can make a difference in their lives. After all . . . you’re not just raising them to be good kids – you’re training them to become responsible adults!

(Excerpted from the book, The Seven Cries of Today’s Teens: Hear Their Hearts, Make the Connection by Tim Smith)