Monthly Archives: April 2009

Humor

Job Advertisement

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JOB ADVERTISEMENT!!

The Kingdom of God is hiring!
Are you ready to apply? Do you qualify?

JOB TITLE:
Disciples for Christ

JOB DESCRIPTION:
Tell the dying world how to live through Jesus Christ

NUMBER OF AVAILABLE POSITIONS:
Unlimited; everyone is welcome–preachers, teachers, singers, musicians, missionaries, custodians, food servers, and numerous others that we just can’t list them all here

EXCEPTION TO AVAILABLE POSITIONS:
The vacancy of BOSS has already been filled by the Holy Spirit

QUALIFICATIONS:
Must have previously sinned and been blood washed; must be willing to press toward the mark of the high calling in Christ Jesus

EXPERIENCE NEEDED:
None necessary; experience will be earned through on-the-job training

EDUCATION:
The Holy Spirit will teach you all things

BENEFIT PACKAGE/SALARY:
God (the employer) shall supply all your needs according to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus

Medical Aid Insurance:
Access to the Master Physician Plan

PACKAGE ALSO INCLUDES:
Love, joy, peace, patience, long suffering; Lawyer, Comforter, and a Wonderful Counsellor

RECOMPENSE FOR COMPLETING THE JOB ASSIGNMENT:
The most important benefit, ETERNAL LIFE with the employer.

DEADLINE FOR APPLICATIONS:
Before the return of Jesus Christ; date/hour not known; wise to apply TODAY, RIGHT NOW

Get Icebreakers ebookIcebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

Inspiration

The Train Of Life

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Some folks ride the train of life,
Looking out the rear,
Watching miles of life roll by,
And marking every year.

They sit in sad remembrance,
Of wasted days gone by,
And think the best is what once was,
And hang their heads and cry.

But I don’t concern my self with that,
I take a different vent,
I look forward to what life holds,
And not what has been spent.

I want to see what’s coming up,
Not look back at the past,
Life’s too short for yesterdays,
It moves along too fast.

I want to feel the wind of change,
Blowing in my face,
I want to see what life unfolds,
As I move from place to place .

Life’s best moments are yet to be,
And wait around the bend.
New relations and adventures,
That the future’s sure to send.

So if the ride gets bumpy,
While you are looking back,
Go up front, and you may find,
Your life has jumped the track.

Years may blur your memories,
So you can’t tell the details apart.
But nothing blurs the moments..
They are etched upon your heart.

The enjoyment of living,
Is not where we have been,
It’s looking ever forward,
To another year and ten.

It’s searching all the byways,
Never should you refrain,
For if you want to live your life,
You’ve gotta drive the train!

Author Unknown


MORE IDEAS? See “Creative Object Lessons”

200 page e-book that explains everything you need to know when planning your very own object lessons. It contains 90 fully developed object lesson ideas and another 200 object lesson starter ideas based on Biblical idioms and Names / Descriptions of God.

Learn More…

Evangelism Ideas

Face Painting Recipe

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Have you ever done face-painting as part of an outreach to children?

Here’s a recipe we used for face-paint:

  • 1 teaspoon cornstarch
  • 1/2 teaspoon water
  • 1-1/2 teaspoons cold cream.
  • A few drops of food color

Mix all the ingredients together in a small paper cup. If the mixture is too thick to paint with, thin with a few drops of water. The paint can be applied with a paint brush for small areas or you can spread it all over a person’s face with your fingers.

While the paint is till wet, you can add some glitter to your design as well fora little sparkle.

Get Icebreakers ebookIcebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

Humor

Great Men of God

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It was a warm summer day. Two elders decided to invite one of the deacons to their weekly fishing trip. The deacon was excited and decided to go. When they were all in the boat and the boat was well out in the middle of the lake one elder said, “Oh no, I forgot my fishing rod. Wait here while I go get it.” The elder walked out across the lake all the way back to his car and walked back across the water to his boat.

The deacon was amazed at this great feat. But that was nothing. The second elder said, “Oh no, I forgot the bait.” So just like the first elder he stepped out of the boat, walked across the water, went back to the car, got the bait, and then walked back to the boat. The deacon was in great amazement now. He was thinking, “Gee, these must really be great men of God to be able to walk across the water.”

Then the deacon remembered that he forgot his hooks. He told the elders that he did not have his hooks and that he was going back to the car to get them. The elders did not say anything so the deacon took a deep breath, stepped out of the boat, into the water and sank to the bottom of the lake. Then the first elder looked at the second elder and said, “Do you think we should have told him where the rocks were?”

Get Icebreakers ebookIcebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

Humor

Old Family Bible

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A little boy opened the big and old family Bible with fascination, and looked at the old pages as he turned them.

Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible, and he picked it up and looked at it closely. It was an old leaf from a tree that had been pressed in between the pages.

“Mommy, look what I found,” the boy called out.

“What have you got there, dear?” his mother asked.

With astonishment in the young boy’s voice, he answered: “I think it’s Adam’s clothes”

Get Icebreakers ebookIcebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

Creative Teaching Ideas

Grasshopper Olympics

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Introduction
Announce that today we are going today we are going to have some grasshopper Olympics.
Whoever wins will be crowned King of the Grasshoppers!

Materials
Masking tape and a few jump ropes.

Preparation
Tape two 4-foot strips of masking tape to the floor, 12 to 15 feet apart to use as goal lines for the following special relays/ jumping competitions. You may wish to get the youth to warm up doing a few jumping jack exercises.

Grasshopper Competitions

  1. High jump (Mark the jumps on the wall with a piece of tape)
  2. Number of consecutive skips using a jump rope.
  3. Greatest number of people jumping successfully at the same time using a single jump rope.
  4. Most spectacular trick using a jump rope
  5. Long jump from a stand still – line them up along the line and let them jump forward.
  6. Least number of jumps to reach the opposite line
  7. Running long jump… allow to run and jump from the line without crossing over the line.

Take it to the next level

Award the King of the grasshoppers with a crown of grass! Then ask:

  • Is being compared to a grasshopper a good thing or a put down?
  • Read Numbers 13:33

In this story, the Israelites saw themselves as grasshoppers. They saw the Guinness World Record breaking inhabitants of the land and in comparison saw themselves as small little grasshoppers. Their focus was on their own limited abilities instead of God’s great promises. When we focus on ourselves we often get the wrong perspective on things. We need to learn to see things from God’s perspective. A king of the grasshoppers may be insignificant, but the King of Kings, God with us, can accomplish anything God desires. God promised the land to the Israelites. His promises never fail. All they needed to do was trust Him and follow in obedience. Instead they ran away in fear.

  1. What is it in your life that you need to trust God for?
  2. What promises of God are applicable to that area of your life?
  3. How can you claim those promises and walk in obedience?

When you do, God will replace fear with victory in your life!

Get "Go for the Gold" Youth Bible Study Series
Go for the Gold
Need an evangelistic Youth Camp/ Bible Study Series with an Olympic Theme?

What is salvation all about? What does it mean to be saved? This sports themed Bible Study / Camp Curriculum uses the Olympic Flag to introduce the concepts of sin (black circle), forgiveness (red circle), purity (white background), spiritual growth (green circle), heaven (Yellow Circle) and (Baptism) blue circle.
-> Tell me about “Go for the Gold”

Get "Destined to Win" Youth Bible Study Series
Destined to Win
Need a Youth Camp/ Bible Study Series on “Running the Christian Race”?

The race as a metaphor for the Christian life is used in several places in the Bible. This series is a great follow up for new Christians or to re-emphasize the basics of our spiritual Journey in the Faith. This Bible Study / Camp Curriculum has a sports theme and is great for athletes as well as a tie in to the youth Olympic Games.
->Tell me about “Destined to Win”

Resource Reviews

Judas

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I’ve wondered, at times, what kind of man this Judas was. What he looked like, how he acted, who his friends
were…

But for all the things we don’t know about Judas, there is one thing we know for sure: he had no relationship with
the Master. He had seen Jesus, but he did not know Him. He had heard Jesus, but he did not understand Him. He
had religion, but no relationship.

As Satan worked his way around the table in the Upper Room, he needed a special kind of man to betray our Lord.
He needed a man who had seen Jesus, but did not know Him. He needed a man who knew the actions of Jesus, but had missed out on the mission of Jesus. Judas was this man. He knew the empire but had never known the Man.

We learn this timeless lesson from the betrayer. Satan’s best tools of destruction are not from outside the church, they are from within the church. A church will never die from the immorality in Hollywood or the corruption in Washington. But it will die from corrosion within–from those who bear the name of Jesus but have never met Him, and from those who have religion, but no relationship.

Judas bore the cloak of religion, but he never knew the heart of Christ. Let’s make it our goal to know…deeply.

Max Lucado – “On the Anvil”


MORE IDEAS? See “Creative Object Lessons”

200 page e-book that explains everything you need to know when planning your very own object lessons. It contains 90 fully developed object lesson ideas and another 200 object lesson starter ideas based on Biblical idioms and Names / Descriptions of God.

Learn More…

Teaching Illustrations

Is it enough?

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Mark 2:5 When Jesus saw their faith, he said to the paralytic, “Son, your sins are forgiven.” 

As I was getting ready to start my day today I began thinking about this story in the Bible where Jesus was at a house in Capernaum. So many people from the area had heard he was there and they began to show up in droves. The house was full as well as all around the outside of the house and Jesus was preaching the word to them.

While he was preaching some men showed up (four to be exact) and they were carrying a paralytic. They tried their best to get this man to Jesus because they had heard of his great healing power. They truly believed that Jesus could heal their friend. They just had one problem, trying to get through the crowd was like trying to cut through a stone wall. They’re were just way to many people and I’m sure none of them wanted to move out of the way. They all came to see the man that everyone was talking about. Maybe he would perform some miracle. They were not about to miss a miracle all because they took some time to let a paralytic and his friends through.

These men were not about to give up though instead they worked their way to the top of the house onto the roof. They began to dig a hole in the roof until finally they broke through. Slowly they lowered their friend down to the ground right in front of Jesus.

I can’t help but wonder what was going through the mind of the owner of this house. I mean if it was my house I think I would have been really mad because these guys just tore my roof apart but we don’t know because the owner is never mentioned. Maybe his anger was deterred by his curiosity. Maybe he was more anxious about seeing how Jesus would respond to the man who was lowered in front of him.

I’m sure everyone around was filled with excitement as this paralytic was put before Jesus. Now they would all get what they came for A Miracle! I’m sure the room got quiet as Jesus looked at this man and his friends. You could probably hear a pin drop as Jesus looked at the paralytic and said with all confidence “Son, your sins are forgiven.”

I can almost sense the mood change in the crowd after he said those words. I can imagine some of them feeling upset because all he said was your sins are forgiven. What your sins are forgiven! where’s the miracle?! we came here to see a miracle and all your offering is forgiveness. What if the story ended there? What if all Jesus did was forgive the man? I wonder what the outcome would have been then. They probably would have drug him from the house and stoned him to death. But it didn’t end there. Most of us know the ending. Jesus heals the man, he gets up and takes his mat and goes home and the people praise God.

The story just makes me wonder though…what if all Jesus had to offer us was that one act on the cross. What if all he ever did for us was offer his forgiveness? Would that be enough or would we like some of the people in the story above need more. I mean how much is enough? So many of us are happy Christians as long as we feel God is doing things in our lives or as long as we feel God is providing or giving us stuff. But what if all that stopped today. What if for whatever reason God just stopped giving. Would the cross still be enough? He really doesn’t have to give us anything else. But is what was already given enough?

Romans 5:8 But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.

Robbie Heverling (robhev@yahoo.com)
Used by Permission


MORE IDEAS? See “Creative Object Lessons”

200 page e-book that explains everything you need to know when planning your very own object lessons. It contains 90 fully developed object lesson ideas and another 200 object lesson starter ideas based on Biblical idioms and Names / Descriptions of God.

Learn More…

Teaching Illustrations

The “WHY” of It All

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He carried His cross despising the shame
To the place of the skull, Golgatha by name
And there with two thieves, His friends’ hopes all lost,
Was man’s greatest error now hung on a cross

He held back His power, His glory was veiled
He silenced His tongue as accusations were railed
He submitted His body to torture and pain
And saw through it all a glorious gain

Oh what sight could hold Him, this King of all Kings
What glory awaited that only shame brings?

The One who spoke galaxies, wisdom and life
Laid aside all His power without any strife
And WHY would He do it? The question looms large
Accept accusations, absorb every charge

The smoke finally clears as the veil rips away
And eyes filled with tears see truth bright as day
Humbled and willing I bow to my knee
Jesus! Oh Jesus! You did it for me…..

By Cindy Blackamore
03-31-09
Used by Permission

 


MORE IDEAS? See “Creative Object Lessons”

200 page e-book that explains everything you need to know when planning your very own object lessons. It contains 90 fully developed object lesson ideas and another 200 object lesson starter ideas based on Biblical idioms and Names / Descriptions of God.

Learn More…