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‘Twas the night before Christmas and one thing was clear–\nthat old Yuletide spirit no longer was here
\ninflation was rising; the crime rate was tripling;
\nthe fuel bills were up, and our mortgage was crippling;<\/p>\n
‘Twas the night before Christmas and one thing was clear–
\nthat old Yuletide spirit no longer was here
\ninflation was rising; the crime rate was tripling;
\nthe fuel bills were up, and our mortgage was crippling;<\/p>\n
I opened a coke as I watched TV,
\nwhere Donny sang “O Holy Night” to Marie;
\nthe kids were in bed, getting sleep like they should;
\nor else they were quiet, which was almost as good.<\/p>\n
While Ma with her ball-point was making a fuss
\n’bout folks we’d send cards to who’d sent none to us;
\n“Those ingrates,” she thundered, and pounded her fist;
\n“Next year you can bet they’ll be crossed off our list!”<\/p>\n
When out in the yard came a deafening blare;
\n’twas our burgler alarm, and I hollered, “Who’s there?”
\nI turned on the searchlight, which lit up the night,
\nand, armed with my handgun, beheld a strange sight.<\/p>\n
Some red-suited clown with a white beard immense
\nwas caught in our eight foot electrified fence;
\nhe called out, “I’m Santa! I bring you no malice!”
\nSaid I, “if you’re Santa, I’m Telly Savalas!”<\/p>\n
But, lo, as his presence grew clear to me,
\nI saw in the glare that it just might be he!
\ncalled off our doberman clawing his sleigh
\nand, frisking him twice, said, “I think he’s ok.”<\/p>\n
I led him inside where he slumped in a chair,
\nand he poured out the following tale of dispair;
\n“On Christmas eves past I was jolly and chuckling,
\nbut now ‘neath the pressures, I fear I am buckling.”<\/p>\n
“You’ll note I’ve arrived with no reindeer this year,
\nand without them, my sleigh is much harder to steer;
\nalthough I would like to continue to use them,
\nthe wildlife officials believe I abuse them.”<\/p>\n
“To add to my problem, Ralph Nader dropped by
\nand told me my sleigh was unsafe in the sky;
\nI now must wear seatbelts, despite my objections,
\nand bring in the sleigh twice a year for inspections.”<\/p>\n
“Last April my workers came forth with demands,
\nand I soon had a general strike on my hands;
\nI couldn’t afford to pay unionized elves,
\nso the missus and I did the work ourselves.”<\/p>\n
“And then, later on, came additional trouble–
\nan avalanche left my fine workshop in rubble;
\nmy Allstate insurance was worthless, because
\nthey had shrewdly slipped in a ‘no avalanche’ clause.”<\/p>\n
“And after that came an I.R.S audit;
\nthe government claimed I was out to defraud it;
\nthey finally nailed me for 65 grand,
\nwhich I paid through the sale of my house and my land.”<\/p>\n
“And yet I persist, though it gives me a scare
\nflying blind through the blanket of smog in the air;
\nnot to mention the hunters who fill me with dread,
\ntaking shots at my sleigh as I pass overhead.”<\/p>\n
“My torn-up red suit, and these bruises and swellings,
\nI got fighting muggers in multiple dwellings.
\nAnd if you should ask why I’m glowing tonight,
\nit’s from flying too close to a nuclear site.”<\/p>\n
He rose from his chair and he heaved a great sigh,
\nand I couldn’t help notice a tear in his eye;
\n“I’ve tried,” he declared, “to reverse each defeat,
\nbut I fear that today I’ve become obsolete.”<\/p>\n
He slumped out the door and returned to his sleigh,
\nand these last words he spoke as he went on his way;
\n“no longer can I do the job that’s required;
\nif anyone asks, just say, ‘Santa’s retired!'”.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
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<\/a> Christmas Collection<\/span><\/a><\/strong><\/span>Get more than 200 creative ideas for planning a Youth Christmas celebration or Christmas Party party. You can immediately download my best Christmas Icebreakers, games, illustrations, Christmas activity ideas AND MUCH MORE in a useful ebook!<\/p>\n
=> Tell me more about the Christmas Collection<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n ‘Twas the night before Christmas and one thing was clear– that old Yuletide spirit no longer was here inflation was rising; the crime rate was tripling; the fuel bills were up, and our mortgage was crippling; I opened a coke as I watched TV, where Donny sang “O Holy Night” to Marie; the kids were … Continue reading A Final Visit From Saint Nicholas<\/span> <\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"