{"id":2653,"date":"2006-03-12T06:39:36","date_gmt":"2006-03-12T06:39:36","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/?p=2653"},"modified":"2021-04-08T23:28:58","modified_gmt":"2021-04-08T15:28:58","slug":"bulletin-bloopers","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/humor\/bulletin-bloopers\/","title":{"rendered":"Bulletin Bloopers"},"content":{"rendered":"

* Don’t let worry kill you. Let the Church help.
\n* Thursday night-Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow.
\n* Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community.
\n* For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs.
\n* The rosebud on the altar this morning is to announce the birth of David Alan Belzer, the sin of Rev and Mrs. Julius Belzer.
\n* This afternoon there will be a meeting in the south and north ends of the church. Children will be baptized at both ends.
\n* Tuesday at 4PM there will be an ice cream social. All ladies giving milk will please come early.
\n* Wednesday, the Ladies Liturgy Society will meet. Mrs. Jones will sing “Put Me In My Little Bed” accompanied by the pastor.
\n* Thursday at 5PM there will be a meeting of the Little Mothers Club. All wishing to become Little Mothers, please see the minister in his private study.
\n* This being Easter Sunday, we will ask Mrs. Lewis to come forward and lay an egg on the altar.
\n* The service will close with “Little Drops of Water”. One of the ladies will start (quietly) and the rest of the congregation will join in.
\n* Next Sunday, a special collection will be taken to defray the cost of the new carpet. All those wishing to do something on the new carpet will come forward and get a piece of paper.
\n* The ladies of the church have cast off clothing of every kind and they may be seen in the church basement Friday.
\n* A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
\n* At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be “What is Hell?” Come early and listen to our choir practice.
\n* Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance.
\n* The 1991 Spring Council Retreat will be hell May 10 and 11.
\n* Pastor is on vacation. Massages can be given to church secretary.
\n* 8 new choir robes are currently needed, due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
\n* Mrs. Johnson will be entering the hospital this week for testes.
\n* The Senior Choir invites any member of the congregation who enjoys sinning to join the choir.
\n* Please join us as we show our support for Amy and Alan who is preparing for the girth of their first child.
\n* Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles, and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
\n* The Lutheran Men’s group will meet at 6 PM. Steak, mashed potatoes, green beans, bread and dessert will be served for a nominal feel.
\n* The Associate Minister unveiled the church’s new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: “I Upped My Pledge–Up Yours.”
\n* The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing “Break Forth into Joy.”
\n* Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say “hell” to someone who doesn’t care much about you.
\n* Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
\n* During the absence of our Pastor, we enjoyed the rare privilege of hearing a good sermon when J.F. Stubbs supplied our pulpit.
\n* Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered.
\n* Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
\n* The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility.
\n* Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm.–prayer and medication to follow.<\/p>\n

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\"\"<\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

* Don’t let worry kill you. Let the Church help. * Thursday night-Potluck Supper. Prayer and medication to follow. * Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our church and community. * For those of you who have children and don’t know it, we have a nursery downstairs. * The rosebud on the … Continue reading Bulletin Bloopers<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2653","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"aioseo_notices":[],"aioseo_head":"\n\t\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t\n\t\t