{"id":2957,"date":"2006-11-02T13:50:32","date_gmt":"2006-11-02T13:50:32","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/?p=2957"},"modified":"2021-04-08T22:27:28","modified_gmt":"2021-04-08T14:27:28","slug":"thanksgiving-is-coming","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/humor\/thanksgiving-is-coming\/","title":{"rendered":"Thanksgiving is Coming"},"content":{"rendered":"

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop
\nMy big brother Mike took me out on the stoop,
\nThen he sat me down, and he spoke real slow,
\nAnd he told me there was something that I had to know.<\/p>\n

His look and his tone I will always remember,
\nWhen he told me of the horrors of ….Black November,
\n“Come about August, now listen to me,
\nEach day you’ll get six meals instead of just three.<\/p>\n

“And soon you’ll be thick, where once you were thin,
\nand you’ll grow a big rubbery thing under your chin,”
\n“And then one morning, when you’re warm in your bed,
\nIn’ll burst the farmer’s wife, and hack off your head.”<\/p>\n

“Then she’ll pluck out your feathers so you’re bald and pink,
\nScoop out your insides and leave ya lyin’ in the sink.”
\n“And then comes the worst part” he said, almost blushing
\n“She’ll spread your cheeks and pack you with stuffing.”<\/p>\n

Well, the rest of his words were too grim to repeat,
\nI sat on the stoop like a winged piece of meat,
\nAnd decide right then that not to be cooked,
\nI’d have to lay low and remain overlooked.<\/p>\n

I began a new diet of nuts and granola,
\nHigh-roughage salads, juice and diet cola,
\nAnd as they ate pastries, chocolates and crepes,
\nI stayed in my room doing Jane Fonda tapes.<\/p>\n

I maintained my weight of two pounds and a half,
\nAnd tried not to notice when the bigger birds laughed,
\nBut ’twas I who was laughing, under my breath,
\nAs they chomped and they chewed, ever closer to death.<\/p>\n

And sure enough when Black November rolled around,
\nI was the last turkey left in the entire compound,
\nSo now I’m a pet in the farmer’s wife’s lap,
\nI haven’t a worry, so I eat and I nap.<\/p>\n

She held me today, while sewing and humming,
\nAnd smiled at me and said “Christmas is coming…..”<\/p>\n

Author Unknown<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/center>\"Get<\/a> Holiday Collection<\/span><\/a><\/strong><\/span>
\n<\/strong>Games and Activities in Celebration of common Holidays.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Creative Holiday Ideas has over 300 pages of ideas to help you plan your next New Year’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Halloween or Fall Festival, and Thanksgiving event. If you’ve ever wondered what you’re going to do for all these holidays and how you’re going to do it, this resource is for you.<\/p>\n

=> Tell me more about the Holiday Collection<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

When I was a young turkey, new to the coop My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop, Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow, And he told me there was something that I had to know. His look and his tone I will always remember, When he told me … Continue reading Thanksgiving is Coming<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[242,241,239,240,226],"class_list":["post-2957","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-holiday-ideas","tag-thanksgiving-games","tag-thanksgiving-ideas","tag-thanksgiving-party-ideas","tag-youth-ideas"],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\nThanksgiving is Coming - Creative Youth Ideas<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/humor\/thanksgiving-is-coming\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Thanksgiving is Coming - Creative Youth Ideas\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"When I was a young turkey, new to the coop My big brother Mike took me out on the stoop, Then he sat me down, and he spoke real slow, And he told me there was something that I had to know. 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