{"id":3032,"date":"2005-12-26T15:09:13","date_gmt":"2005-12-26T15:09:13","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/?p=3032"},"modified":"2021-04-09T09:21:53","modified_gmt":"2021-04-09T01:21:53","slug":"twas-the-month-after-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/humor\/twas-the-month-after-christmas\/","title":{"rendered":"Twas the Month After Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>&#8216;Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house<br \/>\nNothing would fit me, not even a blouse.<br \/>\nThe cookies I&#8217;d nibbled, the eggnog I&#8217;d taste<br \/>\nAll the holiday parties had gone to my waist.<br \/>\nWhen I got on the scales there arose such a number!<br \/>\nWhen I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).<\/p>\n<p>I&#8217;d remember the marvelous meals I&#8217;d prepared;<br \/>\nThe gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared,<br \/>\nThe wine and the rum balls, the bread and the cheese<br \/>\nAnd the way I&#8217;d never said, &#8220;No thank you, please.&#8221;<br \/>\nAs I dressed myself in my husband&#8217;s old shirt<br \/>\nAnd prepared once again to do battle with dirt&#8211;<br \/>\nI said to myself, as I only can<br \/>\n&#8220;You can&#8217;t spend a winter disguised as a man!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>So, away with the last of the sour cream dip,<br \/>\nGet rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip<br \/>\nEvery last bit of food that I like must be banished<br \/>\n&#8216;Till all the additional ounces have vanished.<br \/>\nI won&#8217;t have a cookie, not even a lick.<br \/>\nI&#8217;ll want only to chew on a long celery stick.<\/p>\n<p>I won&#8217;t have hot biscuits, or corn bread, or pie,<br \/>\nI&#8217;ll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.<br \/>\nI&#8217;m hungry, I&#8217;m lonesome, and life is a bore&#8212;<br \/>\nBut isn&#8217;t that what January is for?<br \/>\nUnable to giggle, no longer a riot.<br \/>\nHappy New Year to all and to all a good diet!<\/p>\n<p><!--Creative Youth Ideas: Christmas Collection--><\/p>\n<p><center><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/0004_underline1_big-300x15.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"5\" \/><\/center><strong><a href=\"http:\/\/www.creativechristmasideas.com\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"alignright size-full wp-image-5669\" title=\"Creative Youth Ideas: &quot;Christmas Collection&quot; ebook\" src=\"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/12\/christmas_ebook_arrow_sm.jpg\" alt=\"Get Creative Youth Ideas: &quot;Christmas Collection&quot; ebook\" width=\"192\" height=\"150\" \/><\/a> <span style=\"color: #cc0000;\"><strong><a title=\"Christmas Collection eBook\" href=\"http:\/\/www.creativechristmasideas.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #cc0000;\">Christmas Collection<\/span><\/a><\/strong><\/span><br \/>\n<\/strong><strong>Games and Activities helping youth discover the Reason for the Season.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Get more than 200 creative ideas for planning a Youth Christmas celebration or Christmas Party party. You can immediately download my best Christmas Icebreakers, games, illustrations, Christmas activity ideas AND MUCH MORE in a useful ebook!<\/p>\n<p><span style=\"color: #cc0000;\"><a title=\"Creative Youth Ideas: Christmas Collection\" href=\"http:\/\/www.creativechristmasideas.com\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><span style=\"color: #cc0000;\">=&gt; Tell me more about the Christmas Collection<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n<p><center><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/0004_underline1_big-300x15.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"5\" \/><\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8216;Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. The cookies I&#8217;d nibbled, the eggnog I&#8217;d taste All the holiday parties had gone to my waist. When I got on the scales there arose such a number! When I walked to the store (less a walk &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/humor\/twas-the-month-after-christmas\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Twas the Month After Christmas<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3032","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Twas the Month After Christmas - Creative Youth Ideas<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/humor\/twas-the-month-after-christmas\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Twas the Month After Christmas - Creative Youth Ideas\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"&#8216;Twas the month after Christmas, and all through the house Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse. 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