{"id":5276,"date":"2012-06-15T15:39:42","date_gmt":"2012-06-15T07:39:42","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/?p=5276"},"modified":"2016-11-11T23:30:27","modified_gmt":"2016-11-11T15:30:27","slug":"how-to-know-if-you-are-ready-to-have-kids","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/humor\/how-to-know-if-you-are-ready-to-have-kids\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Know if You Are Ready to Have Kids"},"content":{"rendered":"<p><strong>Mess Test<\/strong><br \/>\nSmear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Toy Test<\/strong><br \/>\nObtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (or you may substitute roofing tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to the bathroom or kitchen. Do not scream because this would wake a child at night.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Grocery Store Test<\/strong><br \/>\nBorrow one or two small animals (goats are best) and take them with you as you shop. Always keep them in sight &amp; pay for anything they eat or damage.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Dressing Test<\/strong><br \/>\nObtain one large, unhappy, live octopus. Stuff into a small net bag making sure that all the arms stay inside.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Feeding Test<\/strong><br \/>\nObtain a large plastic milk jug. Fill halfway with water. Suspend from the ceiling with a cord. Start the jug swinging. Try to insert spoonfuls of soggy cereal into the mouth of the jug, while pretending to be an airplane. Now dump the contents of the jug on the floor.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Night Test<\/strong><br \/>\nPrepare by obtaining a small cloth bag &amp; fill it with 8-12 pounds of sand. Soak it in water. At 3:00pm begin to waltz and hum with the bag until 9:00p.m. Lay down your bag and set your alarm for 10:00pm.Get up, pick up your bag, and sing every song you have ever heard. Make up a dozen more and sing these too until 4:00a.m. Set alarm for 5:00. Get up and make breakfast. Keep this up for 5 years. Look cheerful.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Automobile Test<\/strong><br \/>\nForget the BMW and buy a station wagon. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there. Get a dime. Stick it into the cassette player. Take a family size package of chocolate chip cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Physical Test (Women)<\/strong><br \/>\nObtain a large bean bag chair and attach it to the front of your clothes. Leave it there for 9 months. Now remove 10 of the beans. And try not to notice your closet full of clothes. You won\u2019t be wearing them for a while.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Physical Test (Men)<\/strong><br \/>\nGo to the nearest drug store. Set your wallet on the counter. Ask the clerk to help himself. Now proceed to the nearest food store. Go to the head office and arrange for your paycheck to be directly deposited to the store. Purchase a\u00a0newspaper. Go home and read it quietly for the last time.<\/p>\n<p><strong>Final Assignment<\/strong><br \/>\nFind a couple who already has a small child. Lecture them on how they can improve their discipline, patience, tolerance, toilet training and child\u2019s table manners. Suggest many ways they can improve. Emphasize to them that they should never allow their children to run wild. Enjoy this experience. It will be the last time you will have all the answers.<\/p>\n<p><center><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/0004_underline1_big-300x15.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"5\" \/><\/center><\/p>\n<h2>\n<a href=\"http:\/\/www.creativeicebreakers.com\/christian_icebreakers.html\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"floatimgleft alignleft\" style=\"border: 0px;\" src=\"http:\/\/www.creativeicebreakers.com\/icebreaker_book_cover_sm.jpg\" alt=\"Get Icebreakers ebook\" width=\"90\" height=\"150\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.creativeicebreakers.com\/christian_icebreakers.html\"><span style=\"color: #cc0000;\"><strong>Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/h2>\n<p><\/p>\n<p>This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world&#8217;s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.CreativeIcebreakers.com\/christian_icebreakers.html\"><span style=\"color: #cc0000; font-weight:bold\">Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><center><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/0004_underline1_big-300x15.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"5\" \/><\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Mess Test Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. Toy Test Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (or you may substitute roofing tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to &hellip; <a href=\"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/humor\/how-to-know-if-you-are-ready-to-have-kids\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">How to Know if You Are Ready to Have Kids<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[34,36,29,35,30,32],"class_list":["post-5276","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor","tag-dad","tag-family","tag-fathers-day","tag-mothers-day","tag-parenting","tag-parents"],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>How to Know if You Are Ready to Have Kids - Creative Youth Ideas<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/humor\/how-to-know-if-you-are-ready-to-have-kids\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"How to Know if You Are Ready to Have Kids - Creative Youth Ideas\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Mess Test Smear peanut butter on the sofa and curtains. Place a fish stick behind the couch and leave it there all summer. Toy Test Obtain a 55 gallon box of Legos (or you may substitute roofing tacks). Have a friend spread them all over the house. Put on a blindfold. Try to walk to &hellip; Continue reading How to Know if You Are Ready to Have Kids &rarr;\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/humor\/how-to-know-if-you-are-ready-to-have-kids\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Creative Youth Ideas\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/creativeyouthideas\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-06-15T07:39:42+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-11-11T15:30:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/0004_underline1_big-300x15.png\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"kensapp\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@youthideas\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@youthideas\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"kensapp\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\\\/\\\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\\\/resources\\\/humor\\\/how-to-know-if-you-are-ready-to-have-kids\\\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\\\/resources\\\/humor\\\/how-to-know-if-you-are-ready-to-have-kids\\\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"kensapp\",\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\\\/resources\\\/#\\\/schema\\\/person\\\/fcbd34e3282ed6dba8a1cc2ca8242140\"},\"headline\":\"How to Know if You Are Ready to Have Kids\",\"datePublished\":\"2012-06-15T07:39:42+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-11-11T15:30:27+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\\\/resources\\\/humor\\\/how-to-know-if-you-are-ready-to-have-kids\\\/\"},\"wordCount\":558,\"commentCount\":0,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\\\/resources\\\/#organization\"},\"image\":{\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\\\/resources\\\/humor\\\/how-to-know-if-you-are-ready-to-have-kids\\\/#primaryimage\"},\"thumbnailUrl\":\"http:\\\/\\\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\\\/resources\\\/wp-content\\\/uploads\\\/2010\\\/09\\\/0004_underline1_big-300x15.png\",\"keywords\":[\"Dad\",\"Family\",\"Fathers' Day\",\"Mother's Day\",\"Parenting\",\"Parents\"],\"articleSection\":[\"Humor\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\\\/\\\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\\\/resources\\\/humor\\\/how-to-know-if-you-are-ready-to-have-kids\\\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\\\/resources\\\/humor\\\/how-to-know-if-you-are-ready-to-have-kids\\\/\",\"url\":\"https:\\\/\\\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\\\/resources\\\/humor\\\/how-to-know-if-you-are-ready-to-have-kids\\\/\",\"name\":\"How to Know if You Are Ready to Have Kids - 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