Be yourself and don’t try to impress me with your education.
TIME ….I can’t know you without spending time with you.
Return phone calls! And return them promptly
Give me honest answers, even if neither of us like what you have to say.
Realize that I wouldn’t be talking to you about my problem if I thought I could handle it myself. I’m depending on you for direction.
Be honest with me about your own life and struggles.
Don’t try to be a youth; we have enough of those around.
If you are old enough to have a teenager of your own, approach me as a fellow struggler. If you don’t have a teen of your own, then approach me as one who is genuinely trying to understand.
Stay current with resources you can recommend to me. I may need to read more about a subject and will expect you to know where to send me for help.
Ask my opinion and allow others to help you develop the programs, trips, and so on.
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A minister told his congregation, “Next week I plan to preach about the sin of lying. To help you understand my sermon, I want you all to read Mark 17.”
The following Sunday, the minister asked for a show of hands from those who read Mark 17. Every hand went up. The minister smiled and said, “Mark has only sixteen chapters. I will now proceed with my sermon on the sin of lying.”
Don’t try to do it all yourself. Learn the fine art of delegation.
Remember that we were here before you and may be here after you.
Don’t throw me or my opinions out just because I represent leadership from the former youth minister. Help me help you grow a successful youth ministry in our church.
We may need to change, but gently help us change instead of forcing change on us without understanding.
Don’t wait for a crisis to occur before we meet. My family needs to know you care even when life is going smoothly.
Help me be a better worker by being organized and prepared.
Don’t be afraid of my experience as a youth worker. I may know as much or more than you do about working with teenagers, but I still want YOU to be their leader. Allow me to help you.
Just listen sometimes instead of always having the “right” answer to my problem. I may just need to know somebody cares enough to listen to me.
You teach me about the importance of prayer, so actually pray with me one-on-one.
Praise me for the good things I’ve done.
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A reporter once asked legendary U.C.L.A. basketball coach John Wooden who led his team to 7 consecutive national Championships he was able to remain so calm admidst all the pressure of the game?
Coach Wooden with a grin on face replied, “Well I carry a cross in my pocket. And when things get difficult and crazy in a game I reach into my pocket and feel that cross, and it reminds me that there is something much more important than basketball…”
When H. B. Macartney, an Australian pastor, visited Hudson Taylor in China, he was amazed at the missionary’s serenity in spite of his many burdens and his busy schedule. Macartney finally mustered up the courage to say, “You are occupied with millions, I with tens. Your letters are pressingly important, mine of comparatively little value. Yet I am worried and distressed while you are always calm. Tell me, what makes the difference?” Taylor replied, “I could not possibly get through the work I have to do without the peace of God which passes all understanding keeping my heart and mind.”
Macartney later wrote, “He was in God all the time, and God was in him. It was the true abiding spoken of in John 15.”
Give your undivided attention. Show with your body language that you want to listen to that one person. Maintain appropriate eye contact. Occasionally during the conversation call the youth by name.
Concentrate on what the youth is saying. Because you can listen faster than the other person can speak, you will be tempted to think about something else or to interrupt.
Stop talking. You cannot listen if you are talking. James said, “be quick to listen, slow to speak” (1:19, NIV).
Be honest. Speak the truth in gentleness and love. Sometimes you will be in a situation in which a youth wants to talk to you, but you do not have enough time. Be honest and arrange another time to get together.
Acknowledge feelings. Sometimes a youth will specifically state his or her feelings such as “I’m so mad!” or “This is exciting!” or “I’ve been so discouraged.” If so, repeat back or paraphrase the feeling words used in order to communicate that you heard the feeling. Often, a feeling is not put into words but is communicated through vocal communication (such as loudness, pitch, speed, or emphasis) or body language (such as facial expressions, gestures, moving toward or away from you, or touching). Let the youth know you have observed the feeling but let the youth correct you if you are wrong. You might say, “I get the impression that you are hurt. Am I right?” Allowing emotion is not easy. Sometimes feelings are expressed in ways that make us feel uncomfortable. But when you attempt to squelch a person’s feelings, you are meeting your need for comfort, not the other person’s need.
Avoid advice and problem solving. A youth may say, “I’m not sure what I ought to do” or “I need your help” or “I have a problem.” Your immediate thought is that the youth is asking for advice or a solution to the problem. However, that is not what was said. More likely, he or she simply needs to talk to someone about the situation.
Be patient. Allow plenty of time. Do not expect all issues to be settled immediately. Don’t lose faith in God’s ability to help the youth solve his or her own problems if they can or need to be solved. Do not make decisions for the youth to speed up the process. Trust God to work in the youth’s life in ways you cannot.
Allow silence. It gives the youth time to reflect on what has already been said. Sometimes he or she is using the period of silence to decide whether to share with you at a deeper level.
Invite the youth to talk more. Ask open-ended rather than yes-no and specific information questions. Such questions lead to a dead end or only satisfy your curiosity. Questions based on what has already been expressed allow you to follow the direction the youth wants to take.
Tell about yourself. Hearing the youth’s story often reminds you of an incident or event in your own life. Resist the temptation to tell your story if the result will be shifting the attention to yourself. When you feel it is appropriate to tell your story, make it brief. The purpose of sharing your experience should be to give the youth permission to continue his or her story.
When you listen better, youth will talk more and share with you on a deeper level. Practice improving your ability to listen.
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Christ be with you
Christ within you
Christ behind you
Christ before you
Christ beside you
Christ to win you
Christ to comfort and restore you
Christ beneath you
Christ above you
Christ in quiet
Christ in danger
Christ in hearts of all that love you
Christ in mouth of friend and stranger.
Youth programs that are “too spiritual” for recreation probably will not achieve those spiritual goals. Recreation is an essential part of youth ministry for several reasons:
Life-changing youth ministry primarily takes place in the context of relationships. Most young people’s lives are changed by gospel truth as that truth is interpreted in relationships. Games and recreation build relationships
Youth in churches that only permit very serious study sessions seldom discover trusting friendships that can lead to discipling. Recreation and games build trust.
Recreation can provide a way for teenagers to express hidden abilities, leading to an observable change in feelings of self-worth.
Quality recreation also can help troubled youth cope with stress. Contemporary teenagers are pressured to grow up quickly. Stress is a daily part of most teenagers lives. Laughing and enjoying a game of volleyball car significantly reduce the stress which these teenagers carried when they arrived at your youth meeting.
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Game Description
The trust fall is one of the most dramatic trust games. Use this group building game to build community, teamwork, and trust within the group as members rely on the protection of the group to prevent themselves from being injured.
Game Materials
A raised platform of some type – a stump, small wall, table, ladder, etc. The platform should be no higher than 6 feet (less than 2 meters) and at least the height of about 4 feet (about 1 meter).
There should be 10-12 individuals standing on level ground to serve as catchers.
Game Preparation
This game requires a minimum of 10-12 persons to have appropriate protection. Impress upon participants that this is not a time for joking around, but a time to be serious and inspire trust in each other. They need to be encouraging and affirming, helping to alleviate the fear associated with trusting someone else.
Game Play
Begin by asking a youth to stand on the raised platform from which they will fall backward into the arms of a prepared group of spotters.
The person falling should keep his or her arms crossed over their chest with the palms gripping opposite shoulders. When falling they should not bend their knees as it concentrates the force of the fall on a few people making catching more difficult.
The two lines of catchers stand shoulder to shoulder facing one another. Hands are to the side with the inside of forearms extended, palms face up so that hands are alternated and juxtaposed in order to provide a secure landing area. It is preferablle that the catchers who are facing each other do not grasp hands. It is not necessary and a knocked head WILL result as the weight of the person falling will pull the two catchers holding hands together. If the group chooses to lock arms together, do so by gripping the wrist of the person opposite, not the hand. Do not cross arms as this can injure the falling volunteer.
Assign one person in the group to stand on the platform and with the volunteer about to fall or to be in very close proximity. This adult leader should make sure the faller is:
spacially aligned with the catchers:
has hands across chest in the correct position
tilting his or her head slightly back as a means to keep the body rigid so that they do not bend at the knees.
He should also rearrange the spotters if there appears to be an appreciable size or strength discrepancy in opposing catchers.
The adult leader asks the catchers if they are ready. When they are ready they say “fall” and the person falling says “falling” and falls.
Discussion Ideas
Trust: How did it feel be forced to rely on someone else? What fears did you have? Did you trust they would prevent you from harm? How does this relate to trusting God with our lives?
Protection: In this game we have to protect someone in the group from injury. Do we as a group have an obligation to look out for each other? What are some of the ways we can protect each other in our lives?
Helping Those who Fall: What are some ways we can help to catch those who fall? We are surrounded by fallen humanity who need help. How can we help? What can we do when a Christian falls?
Reliance: In this group, the person in the center had to rely on the group. What are some of the ways we have to rely on each other in the Christian life? Do we need each other?
This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.
Ingredients
1 loving teacher
8 to 12 young minds
1 to 2 cups curiosity
4 to 5 spoonfuls fun hands-on participation
Patience
Laughter
Enthusiasm
Directions
Combine talented teacher and eager young mind
Add cupfuls of curiosity and spoonfuls of fun.
Blend in generous amounts of hands-on participation mixed with patience.
Sprinkle with laughter and serve with enthusiasm.
Yield
Learning at its best!
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Creative Youth ideas: 1700+ Resources for youth leaders, pastors, ministers to help plan camps, retreats, and meetings using games, illustrations, Children's Worship, Bible Studies, object lessons, sermons, creative ideas,creative activities
