I. I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt have no other squeeze before me.
II. Thou shalt not take the name of thy Squeeze in vain, nor badmouth her behind her back.
III. Remember our Anniversary, and keep it holy–or else.
IV. Honor MY mother and father. THINE are just too weird.
V. Thou shalt not kill my love by behaving tackily or cause undo embarrassment when I am with thee.
VI. Thou shalt not commit adultery, nor shalt thou even THINK about it least you be smitten from the earth.
VII. Thou shalt not steal from my wallet/purse while I am at my bath, nor use my credit cards, nor make long-distance calls from my telephone.
VIII. Thou shalt not talk about our personal problems to our friends.
IX. Thou shalt not covet the higher market price of thy neighbor’s house without first puttin’ down the remote and learnin’ how to use a paintbrush!
X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s main Squeeze, nor his son, nor his daughter, nor his stereo, nor his BMW, nor anything else that belongs to thy neighbor.

Holiday Collection
Games and Activities in Celebration of common Holidays.

Creative Holiday Ideas has over 300 pages of ideas to help you plan your next New Year’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Halloween or Fall Festival, and Thanksgiving event. If you’ve ever wondered what you’re going to do for all these holidays and how you’re going to do it, this resource is for you.

=> Tell me more about the Holiday Collection

Valentine’s Day (val*en*tinez dae) n.
A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

Supposedly from the Modern Woman’s Dictionary

Sign at Railroad Station
“Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.”

Rest Stop in Wisconsin
“Do not eat urinal cakes.”

At a Santa Fe gas station:
“We will sell gasoline to anyone in a glass container.”

In a New York restaurant:
“Customers who consider our waitresses uncivil ought to see the manager.”

On the wall of a Baltimore estate:
“Trespassers will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law.
–Sisters of Mercy”

On a long-established New Mexico dry cleaners:
“38 years on the same spot.”

In a Los Angeles dance hall:
“Good clean dancing every night but Sunday.”

In a Florida maternity ward:
“No children allowed.”

In a New York drugstore:
“We dispense with accuracy.”

In the offices of a loan company:
“Ask about our plans for owning your home.”

In a New York medical building:
“Mental Health Prevention Center”

On a New York convalescent home:
“For the sick and tired of the Episcopal Church.”

On a Maine shop:
“Our motto is to give our customers the lowest possible prices, and workmanship.”

At a number of military bases:
“Restricted to unauthorized personnel.”

In the window of a Kentucky appliance store:
“Don’t kill your wife. Let our washing machine do the dirty work.”

In a funeral parlor:
“Ask about our layaway plan.”

In a clothing store:
“Wonderful bargains for men with 16 and 17 necks.”

In a Tacoma, Washington men’s clothing store:
“15 men’s wool suits, $10. They won’t last an hour!”

On a shopping mall marquee:
“Archery Tournament — Ears pierced”

Outside a country shop:
“We buy junk and sell antiques.”

In the window of an Oregon store:
“Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?”

In a Maine restaurant:
“Open 7 days a week and weekends.”

On a radiator repair garage:
“Best place to take a leak.”

In the vestry of a New England church:
“Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.”

In a Pennsylvania cemetery:
“Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.”

On a roller coaster:
“Watch your head.”

On the grounds of a public school:
“No trespassing without permission.”

On a Tennessee highway:
“When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.”

In front of a New Hampshire car wash:
“If you can’t read this, it’s time to wash your car.”

And one for Valentine’s Day
On a display of “I love you only” Valentine cards:
“Now available in multi-packs.”

Holiday Collection
Games and Activities in Celebration of common Holidays.

Creative Holiday Ideas has over 300 pages of ideas to help you plan your next New Year’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Halloween or Fall Festival, and Thanksgiving event. If you’ve ever wondered what you’re going to do for all these holidays and how you’re going to do it, this resource is for you.

=> Tell me more about the Holiday Collection

The youth minister woke up Sunday morning and realizing it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf. So… he told the Pastor that he was feeling sick and convinced him to take over the youth ministry for that day. As soon as the Pastor left the room, the youth minister headed out of Singapore to a golf course in JB. This way he knew he wouldn’t accidentally meet anyone he knew from church. Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church!

At about this time, Saint Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed, “You’re not going to let him get away with this, are you?”

The Lord sighed, and said, “No, I guess not.”

Just then the youth minister hit the ball and it shot straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE!

St. Peter was astonished. He looked at the Lord and asked, “Why did you let him do that?”

The Lord smiled and replied, “Who’s he going to tell?”

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!