{"id":2647,"date":"2006-01-05T06:34:44","date_gmt":"2006-01-05T06:34:44","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/?p=2647"},"modified":"2021-04-09T08:55:52","modified_gmt":"2021-04-09T00:55:52","slug":"bible-jokes","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/humor\/bible-jokes\/","title":{"rendered":"Bible Jokes"},"content":{"rendered":"<div>\n<p>What bird placed Jonah in th belly of the fish?<br \/>\nA Swallow<\/p>\n<p>Where in the Bible does it suggest that men wash dishes?<br \/>\nII Kings 21:13<br \/>\n&#8220;And I will wipe Jeras as a man wipeth a dish, wiping it, and turning it upside down to dry&#8221;<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<div id=\"more\">\n<p>What bird placed Jonah in th belly of the fish?<br \/>\nA Swallow<\/p>\n<p>Where in the Bible does it suggest that men wash dishes?<br \/>\nII Kings 21:13<br \/>\n&#8220;And I will wipe Jeras as a man wipeth a dish, wiping it, and turning it upside down to dry&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>What did Noah say while he was loading all the animals into the ark?<br \/>\n&#8220;Now I&#8217;ve herd everything.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>What man in the Bible spoke when he was a very small baby?<br \/>\nJob (Job 3:1) &#8220;Job opened his mouth and cursed the day of his birth&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>Who was the best financier in the Bible?<br \/>\nNoah: He floated his stock while the world was in liquidation<\/p>\n<p>What insect went to Egypt on a donkey?<br \/>\nThe Flea: The angel told Joseph to take mary, the baby and flee into Egypt.<\/p>\n<p>What simple affliction brought about the death of Sampson?<br \/>\nFalling Arches<\/p>\n<p>What animal could noah not trust?<br \/>\nThe Cheetah<\/p>\n<p>Why was Adam a famous runner?<br \/>\nBecause he was first in the human race?<\/p>\n<p>What animal in the ark had the smallest appetite?<br \/>\nA moth he just eats holes<\/p>\n<p>How do we know Cain took a nap when he left Eden?<br \/>\nHe went to the land of Nod<\/p>\n<p>Who was the first space traveler?<br \/>\nElijah: He went up in a fiery chariot.<\/p>\n<p>How do we know God has a sense of humor?<br \/>\nBecause he can take a rib.<\/p>\n<p>Why did wise men have ashes on their shoes?<br \/>\nBecause the cam from afar.<\/p>\n<p>What do we have that Adam never had?<br \/>\nAncestors<\/p>\n<p>Why did the unemployed man get excited while looking through his Bible?<br \/>\nHe thought he saw a job.<\/p>\n<p>Why was Adam created first?<br \/>\nTo give him a chance to say something.<\/p>\n<p>Who was the most successful physician in the Bible?<br \/>\nJob: He had the most patients<\/p>\n<p>Who was the greatest comic in the Bible?<br \/>\nLuke: He kept them in stitches<\/p>\n<p>Where is tennis mentioned in the Bible?<br \/>\nWhen Joseph served in Pharoah&#8217;s court<\/p>\n<p>Who was the most ambitious man in the bible?<br \/>\nJonah: Because even the great fish couldn&#8217;t keep him down.<\/p>\n<p>How do we know Peter was a rich fisherman?<br \/>\nBy his net income<\/p>\n<p>At what time was Adam born?<br \/>\nA little before Eve<\/p>\n<p>How can you tell that David was older than Goliath?<br \/>\nBecause David rocked Goliath to sleep.<\/p>\n<p>Why did Noah punish the chickens?<br \/>\nBecause they were using fowl language<\/p>\n<p>To what question could Eve never say yes?<br \/>\nWhen Adam asked if she had heard a joke from anyone else<\/p>\n<p>Why was Solomon the wisest man in the world?<br \/>\nBecause he had so many wives to advise him<\/p>\n<p>Where is medicine first mentioned in the Bible?<br \/>\nWhen God gave Moses two tablets<\/p>\n<p>When did moses sleep with five people at once?<br \/>\nWhen he slept with his fore fathers<\/p>\n<p>What kind of lights did Noah have on the ark?<br \/>\nFlood lights<\/p>\n<p>Why couldn&#8217;t Jonah trust the ocean?<br \/>\nBecause he know there was something fishy about it<\/p>\n<p>When was radio first mentioned in the Bible?<br \/>\nWhen the Lord took a rib from Adam and made a loud speaker<\/p>\n<p>Who was the straightest man in the Bible?<br \/>\nJoseph: Pharoah made a ruler of him<\/p>\n<p>What did Adam and Eve do when the were expelled from the Garden of Eden?<br \/>\nThey raised Cain<\/p>\n<p>Where could the Israelites have deposited their money?<br \/>\nAt the banks of the Jordan<\/p>\n<p>When is high financing first mentioned in the Bible?<br \/>\nWhen pharoah&#8217;s daughter took a little prophet from bulrushes<\/p>\n<p>Was there any money on the ark?<br \/>\nYes: The duck took a bill, The frog took a green back, and the skunk took a scent.<\/p>\n<p>How did Mary show that Jesus was a gift to the world?<br \/>\nShe wrapped him<\/p>\n<p>When was the Jordan river angry?<br \/>\nWhen someone crossed it<\/p>\n<p>What money did Noah carry into the ark?<br \/>\nBucks and doe<\/p>\n<p>What Bible character may have been only a foot tall?<br \/>\nNicodemus since he was a ruler.<\/p>\n<p>What did the duck say when Noah gave him his lunch?<br \/>\nYou can put this lunch on my bill<\/p>\n<p>What was the speech the angry umpire gave the pitcher and coach God?<br \/>\nSermon on the mound<\/p>\n<p>What was the smartest animal on the ark?<br \/>\nThe snake: No one could pull his leg<\/p>\n<p>What animal was most miserable on the ark?<br \/>\nThe Kangaroo: her children had to play inside in the rain<\/p>\n<p>In what state would Noah feel most at home?<br \/>\nArkansas<\/p>\n<p>Why were the horses aboard the ark Pessimistic?<br \/>\nThey were always saying neigh<\/p>\n<p>When was Baseball first mentioned in the Bible?<br \/>\nGenesis: In the Big inning<\/p>\n<p>Who are the two most famous baseball players in the Bible?<br \/>\nRebekah: walked to the well with a pitcher<br \/>\nProdigal son: He made a home run<\/p>\n<p>Who was the most wicked man in the Bible?<br \/>\nMoses: He broke all the ten commandments at once<\/p>\n<p>Where in the Bible does it talk about smoking<br \/>\nGenesis: Rebekah lighted off her camel (KJV)<\/p>\n<p>Why were Peter, Andrew James and John the best letter writers?<br \/>\nBecause as fishermen they learned to drop a line.<\/p>\n<p>Who in the Bible drove a foreign car?<br \/>\nThe apostles: They were all in one accord<\/p>\n<p>Who introduced the first walking stick in the Bible?<br \/>\nEve when she presented Adam a little Cain<\/p>\n<p>What did Noah tell his sons fishing off the ark?<br \/>\nGo easy on the worms, we only have two<\/p>\n<p>Who was the shortest man in the Bible?<br \/>\nBildad the Shuhite (shoe-height)<br \/>\nNext smallest?<br \/>\nNehemiah (knee high miah)<\/p>\n<p>Who was the smallest man in the Bible?<br \/>\nThe guard who slept on his watch<\/p>\n<p>What state is mentioned in the Bible?<br \/>\nArkansas: Noah looked out from the ark and saw<\/p>\n<p>Why was the dyslexic agnostic an insomniac?<br \/>\nHe stayed up all night worrying about whether there was DOG or not<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<p><!--Creative Youth Ideas: Icebreakers Ahead--><\/p>\n<p><center><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/0004_underline1_big-300x15.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"5\" \/><\/center><\/p>\n<h2><a href=\"http:\/\/www.creativeicebreakers.com\/christian_icebreakers.html\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"floatimgleft alignleft\" style=\"border: 0px;\" src=\"http:\/\/www.creativeicebreakers.com\/icebreaker_book_cover_sm.jpg\" alt=\"Get Icebreakers ebook\" width=\"90\" height=\"150\" border=\"0\" \/><\/a><a href=\"http:\/\/www.creativeicebreakers.com\/christian_icebreakers.html\"><span style=\"color: #cc0000;\"><strong>Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level<\/strong><\/span><\/a><\/h2>\n<p>This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world&#8217;s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.CreativeIcebreakers.com\/christian_icebreakers.html\"><span style=\"color: #cc0000; font-weight: bold;\">Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n<p><center><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter\" src=\"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/09\/0004_underline1_big-300x15.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"450\" height=\"5\" \/><\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>What bird placed Jonah in th belly of the fish? A Swallow Where in the Bible does it suggest that men wash dishes? II Kings 21:13 &#8220;And I will wipe Jeras as a man wipeth a dish, wiping it, and turning it upside down to dry&#8221; What bird placed Jonah in th belly of the &hellip; <a href=\"https:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/humor\/bible-jokes\/\" class=\"more-link\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">Bible Jokes<\/span> <span class=\"meta-nav\">&rarr;<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2647","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.4 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Bible Jokes - Creative Youth Ideas<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/humor\/bible-jokes\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Bible Jokes - Creative Youth Ideas\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"What bird placed Jonah in th belly of the fish? 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