{"id":2920,"date":"2005-12-24T13:21:16","date_gmt":"2005-12-24T13:21:16","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/?p=2920"},"modified":"2021-04-09T09:21:26","modified_gmt":"2021-04-09T01:21:26","slug":"politically-correct-night-before-christmas","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/humor\/politically-correct-night-before-christmas\/","title":{"rendered":"Politically Correct Night Before Christmas"},"content":{"rendered":"

‘Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck
\nHow to live in a world that’s politically correct?<\/p>\n

His workers no longer would answer to Elves,
\nVertically challenged they were calling themselves.
\nAnd labor conditions at the North Pole
\nWere alleged by the union to stifle the soul.<\/p>\n

Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety
\nReleased to the wilds by the Humane Society
\nAnd equal employment had made it quite clear
\nThat Santa had better not use just reindeer
\nSo Dancer and Donner, Comet and Cupid
\nWere replaced with 4 pigs, and you know that looked stupid!<\/p>\n

The runners had been removed from his sleigh;
\nThe ruts were termed dangerous by the E P A
\nAnd people had started to call for the cops
\nWhen they heard sled noises on their roof-tops
\nSecond-hand smoke from his pipe had his workers quite frightened
\nHis fur trimmed red suit was called “Unenlightened”<\/p>\n

And to show you the strangeness of life’s ebbs and flows
\nRudolf was suing over unauthorised use of his nose
\nAnd had gone on Geraldo, in front of the nation
\nDemanding millions in over-due compensation<\/p>\n

So, half of the reindeer were gone; and his wife
\nWho suddenly said she’d enough of this life
\nJoined a self-help group, packed, and left in a whiz
\nDemanding from now on her title was Ms<\/p>\n

And as for the gifts, why, he’d ne’er had a notion
\nThat making a choice could cause so much commotion
\nNothing of leather, nothing of fur
\nWhich meant nothing for him. And nothing for her
\nNothing that might be construed to pollute
\nNothing to aim. Nothing to shoot<\/p>\n

Nothing that clamoured or made lots of noise
\nNothing for just girls. Or just for boys
\nNothing that claimed to be gender specific
\nNothing that’s warlike or non-pacific
\nNo candy or sweets … they were bad for the tooth
\nNothing that seemed to embellish the truth<\/p>\n

And fairy tales, while not yet forbidden
\nWere like Ken and Barbie, better off hidden
\nFor they raised the hackles of those psychological
\nWho claimed the only good gift was ecological
\nNo baseball, no football … someone could get hurt;
\nBesides; playing sports exposed kids to dirt<\/p>\n

Dolls were said to be sexist, and should be passe;
\nAnd Nintendo would rot your entire brain away
\nSo Santa just stood there, dishevelled, perplexed;
\nHe just could not figure out what to do next
\nHe tried to be merry, tried to be gay
\nBut you’ve got to be careful with that word today<\/p>\n

His sack was quite empty, limp to the ground;
\nNothing fully acceptable was to be found
\nSomething special was needed, a gift that he might
\nGive to all without angering the left or the right
\nA gift that would satisfy, with no indecision
\nEach group of people, every religion;<\/p>\n

Every ethnicity, every hue
\nEveryone, everywhere … even you
\nSo here is that gift, it’s price beyond worth …
\n“May you and your loved ones enjoy peace on earth”<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/center>\"Get<\/a> Christmas Collection<\/span><\/a><\/strong><\/span>
\n<\/strong>Games and Activities helping youth discover the Reason for the Season.<\/strong><\/p>\n

Get more than 200 creative ideas for planning a Youth Christmas celebration or Christmas Party party. You can immediately download my best Christmas Icebreakers, games, illustrations, Christmas activity ideas AND MUCH MORE in a useful ebook!<\/p>\n

=> Tell me more about the Christmas Collection<\/span><\/a><\/span><\/p>\n

\"\"<\/center><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

‘Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck How to live in a world that’s politically correct? His workers no longer would answer to Elves, Vertically challenged they were calling themselves. And labor conditions at the North Pole Were alleged by the union to stifle the soul. Four reindeer had vanished, without much propriety … Continue reading Politically Correct Night Before Christmas<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"_monsterinsights_skip_tracking":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_active":false,"_monsterinsights_sitenote_note":"","_monsterinsights_sitenote_category":0,"footnotes":""},"categories":[12],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-2920","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-humor"],"aioseo_notices":[],"yoast_head":"\nPolitically Correct Night Before Christmas - Creative Youth Ideas<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/www.creativeyouthideas.com\/resources\/humor\/politically-correct-night-before-christmas\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Politically Correct Night Before Christmas - Creative Youth Ideas\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"‘Twas the night before Christmas and Santa’s a wreck How to live in a world that’s politically correct? 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