Two moose hunters are flown into a remote lake in Alaska. They have a good hunt, and both manage to get a large moose. When the plane returns to pick them up, the pilot looks at the animals and says, “This little plane won’t lift all of us, the equipment, and both of those animals. You’ll have to leave one. We’d never make it over the trees on the
take off.”

“That’s baloney”, says one of the hunters.

“Yeah,” the other agrees, “you’re just chicken: we came out here last year and got two moose and that pilot had some guts: He wasn’t afraid to take off!”

“Yeah”, said the first hunter, “and his plane wasn’t any bigger than yours!”

The pilot got angry, and said, “If he did it, then I can do it. I can fly as well as anybody!” They loaded up, taxied at full throttle, and the plane almost made it, but didn’t have the lift to clear the trees at the end of the lake. It clipped the tops, then flipped, then broke up, scattering the baggage, animal carcasses, and passengers all through the brush.

Still alive, but hurt and dazed, the pilot sat up, shook his head to clear it, and said, “Where are we?”

One of the hunters rolled out from being thrown into a bush, looked around, and said, “I’d say about a hundred yards further than last year.”

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

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A man has reached middle age when he is cautioned to slow down by his doctor instead of by the police.

Middle age is having a choice of two temptations and choosing the one that will get you home earlier.

You know you’re into middle age when you realize that caution is the only thing you care to exercise.

I don’t date women my age. There aren’t any. (Milton Berle)

Don’t worry about avoiding temptation. As you grow older, it will avoid you.

Don’t take life so seriously … it’s not permanent.

The trouble with life is, by the time you can read a girl like a book, your library card has expired. (M. Berle)

As for me, except for an occasional heart attack, I feel as young as I ever did. (Robert Benchley)

The aging process could be slowed down if it had to work its way through Congress.

As we grow older year by year, my husband always mourns: the less and less we feel our oats, the more we feel our corns.

I have everything I had 20 years ago, only it’s all a little bit lower. (Gypsy Rose Lee)

You’re getting old when getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot.

You’re getting old when you’re sitting in a rocker and you can’t get it started.

You’re getting old when tying one on means fastening your MedicAlert bracelet.

You’re getting old when you don’t care where your wife goes, just so you don’t have to go along.

You’re getting old when you wake up with that morning-after feeling, and you didn’t do anything the night before.

Doctor to patient: I have good news and bad news– the good news is that you are not a hypochondriac.

It’s hard to be nostalgic when you can’t remember anything.

You know you’re getting old when you stop buying green bananas.

Last Will and Testament: Being of sound mind, I spent all my money.

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

A priest was driving down the freeway with two penguins sitting in the back seat of his car. A police officer pulled the priest over for speeding & upon seeing the penguins said to the priest “what do you think you’re doing with those penguins, take them to the zoo right away.” The officer then let the priest go with a warning. The next day the officer saw the priest drive by in his sedan with the penguins. The officer pulled the priest over & he saw that this time the penguins had sun glasses on. He said to the priest “I told you yesterday to take those penguins to the zoo.” The priest said “I took them to the zoo yesterday today we’re going to the beach.”

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

A Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.”

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, “And what are those?”

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

• Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. – (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
• Find a prostitute and marry her. – (Hosea 1:1-3)
• Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock – Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)
• Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. – Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
• Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. – Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)
• Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you. – Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)
• Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That’s right. Fourteen years of hard labor for a wife. – Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)
• Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law’s enemies and get his daughter for a wife. – David (I Samuel 18:27)
• Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you’ll definitely find someone. (It’s all relative, of course.) – Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)
• Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. – Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)
• When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, “I have seen a … woman; now get her for me.” If your parents question your decision, simply say, “Get her for me. She’s the one for me.” – Samson (Judges 14:1-3)
• Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare to lose four sons, though=). – David (2 Samuel 11)
• Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It’s not just a good idea; it’s the law.) – Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)
• Don’t be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. – Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)
• A wife?…NOT! – Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!