Texas Farmer in Australia

kangaroo.jpgA Texan farmer goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and gets talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, “Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large.”

Then they walk around the ranch a little, and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, “We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows.”

The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, “And what are those?”

The Aussie replies with an incredulous look, “Don’t you have any grasshoppers in Texas?”

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A Whale of a Tale

I. God says “effect”, Jonah says “defect.” (1:1-3)
Looking at Jonah.

1. Why did God send Jonah to Ninevah?
a. for a vacation.
b. so Jonah could get away from his family
c. God had something for him to accomplish
d. To test Jonah’s obedience
e. To punish Jonah’s disobedience
f. Jonah had some free time to waste.
g. God didn’t send Jonah, this is an allegory
h. God wanted to give the Ninevites a chance to bake Jonah in the sun.
i. God needed a messenger & chose Jonah
j. God needed some fishbait!
k. to direct the Ninevites away from their path toward destruction.
l. Jonah could get his relationship right w/ God

2. How do you think Jonah felt after hearing “the word of the Lord” instructing him to go to Ninevah?
a. betrayed
b. confused
c. scared
d. Why me?
e. angry
f. skeptical
g. confident
h. uncomfortable
i. unenthusiastic
j. unprepared
k. unqualified
l. unnecessary
m. content where he is
n. incapable of the task
o. “I’ll make a fool of myself”
p. “I don’t want to make waves.”
q. “I don’t see why it’s necessary.”
r. Other:___________________
jonah.jpg

3. Tarshish was about 2000 miles in the opposite direction of Ninevah. Why do you think Jonah ran way?
a. He was afraid of what would happen if he obeyed God.
b. He was afraid it would end his life if he obeyed
c. He thought he could get away from God.
d. He thought if he was gone, God might forget
e. He wasn’t ready to trust God that much yet
f. He was afraid of what friends would think
g. He thought God made a mistake.
h. He was rebellious.
i. He remembered something he had forgotten to do.
j. Obeying God was too difficult.
k. He didn’t want to give things up
l. He forgot about God’s task.

4. What do you think Jonah thought the consequences of his actions would be on himself? God? Ninevah?Others?

Looking at Ourselves
5. How do we as Christians hear “the word of the Lord” today?

6. Why is it important for Christians to hear and know what God is saying?

7. Is hearing God’s word and knowing God’s Word enough? Explain.

8. Why did you come to this camp?
a. for a vacation.
b. to get away from your family?
c. because God had something for you to get accomplished here?
d. because God wants to test you?
e. because God wants to punish you.
f. You had some free time to waste
g. You’re not really here. You’re day daydreaming
h. You wanted a chance to bake in the sun.
i. God needed a messenger and you were his choice
j. You came as fishbait!
k. to direct you away from your path toward destruction
l. So you could get your relationship right with God
m. Other ____________________________

9. What are some Ninevah’s to which God might send Christians today?

10. How do you feel after hearing “the word of the Lord” to go to your “Ninevah?”

11. How do people run away from God today?

12. In what areas of your life are you now running from God?

13. When you run away from what God wants you to do, why do you run away?

14. What do you think the consequences of your actions are on yourself? God? Others? Have there been times in the past when you ran away from something? What were the consequences?

15. Can someone really run away from God? Explain. (Psalm 139:7ff)

16. God wants to have an effect on the world using you in your “Ninevah”. Are you defecting from God’s plan for your life? God says effect, what do you say?

Click here to download the Teacher’s Guide for this first point in the Camp Bible study.

Click here to find out about the Camp Curriculum “A Whale of a Tale” on the book of Jonah.

When We Stop

gods_psychiatry.jpg“One morning as I was hurriedly dressing to begin a full and thrilling day I felt pain in my back. I mentioned it to my wife but was sure it would soon pass away. However, she insisted I see a physician, and he put me in a hospital.

In the hospital I was very unhappy. I had no time to be wasting there in bed. My calendar was full of good activities and the doctor had told me to cancel all my appointments for at least a month. A dear minister friend of mine came to see me. He sat down and very firmly said, “Charles, I have only one thing to say to you–‘He *maketh* me to lie down.’

I lay there thinking about those words in the Twenty-third Psalm long after my friend had gone. I thought about how the shepherd starts the sheep grazing about 4 o’clock in the morning. The sheep walk steadily as they graze; they are never still.

By 10 o’clock, the sun is beaming down and the sheep are hot, tired, and thirsty. The wise shepherd knows that the sheep must not drink when it is hot, neither when its stomach is filled with undigested grass.

So the shepherd makes the sheep lie down in green pastures, in a cool, soft spot. The sheep will not eat lying down, so he chews his cud, which is nature’s way of digestion.

Study the lives of great people, and you will find every one of them drew apart from the hurry of life for rest and reflection. Great poems are not written in the midst of clamoring multitudes; our visions of God come when we stop…”

Author: Charles L. Allen
Source: “God’s Psychiatry”


MORE IDEAS? See “Creative Object Lessons”

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Top 15 Biblical Ways to Get a Wife

  • Find an attractive prisoner of war, bring her home, shave her head, trim her nails, and give her new clothes. Then she’s yours. – (Deuteronomy 21:11-13)
  • Find a prostitute and marry her. – (Hosea 1:1-3)
  • Find a man with seven daughters, and impress him by watering his flock – Moses (Exodus 2:16-21)
  • Purchase a piece of property, and get a woman as part of the deal. – Boaz (Ruth 4:5-10)
  • Go to a party and hide. When the women come out to dance, grab one and carry her off to be your wife. – Benjaminites (Judges 21:19-25)
  • Have God create a wife for you while you sleep. Note: this will cost you. – Adam (Genesis 2:19-24)
  • Agree to work seven years in exchange for a woman’s hand in marriage. Get tricked into marrying the wrong woman. Then work another seven years for the woman you wanted to marry in the first place. That’s right. Fourteen years of hard labor for a wife. – Jacob (Genesis 29:15-30)
  • Cut 200 foreskins off of your future father-in-law’s enemies and get his daughter for a wife. – David (I Samuel 18:27)
  • Even if no one is out there, just wander around a bit and you’ll definitely find someone. (It’s all relative, of course.) – Cain (Genesis 4:16-17)
  • Become the emperor of a huge nation and hold a beauty contest. – Xerxes or Ahasuerus (Esther 2:3-4)
  • When you see someone you like, go home and tell your parents, “I have seen a … woman; now get her for me.” If your parents question your decision, simply say, “Get her for me. She’s the one for me.” – Samson (Judges 14:1-3)
  • Kill any husband and take HIS wife (Prepare to lose four sons, though=). – David (2 Samuel 11)
  • Wait for your brother to die. Take his widow. (It’s not just a good idea; it’s the law.) – Onan and Boaz (Deuteronomy or Leviticus, example in Ruth)
  • Don’t be so picky. Make up for quality with quantity. – Solomon (1 Kings 11:1-3)
  • A wife?…NOT! – Paul (1 Corinthians 7:32-35)

Get Icebreakers ebookIcebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

Five Finger Prayer

  1. hand.jpgYour thumb is nearest to you. So begin your prayers by praying for those closest to you. They are the easiest to remember. To pray for our loved ones is, as C.S. Lewis once said, a “sweet duty.”
  2. The next finger is the pointing finger. Pray for those who teach, instruct and heal. This includes teachers, doctors, and ministers. They need support and wisdom in pointing others in the right direction. Keep them in your prayers.
  3. The next finger is the tallest finger. It reminds us of our leaders. Pray for the president, leaders in business and industry, and administrators. These people shape our nation and guide public opinion. They need God’s guidance.
  4. The fourth finger is our ring finger. Surprising to many is fact that this is our weakest finger; as any piano teacher will testify. It should remind us to pray for those who are weak, in trouble or in pain. They need your prayers day and night. You cannot pray too much for them.
  5. And lastly comes our little finger; the smallest finger of all. Which is where we should place ourselves in relation to God and others. As the Bible says, “The least shall be the greatest among you.” Your pinky should remind you to pray for yourself.

By the time you have prayed for the other four groups, your own needs will be put into proper perspective and you will be able to pray for yourself more effectively.


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Letter from Camp

Dear Mom & Dad:

We are having a great time here at Lake Typhoid. Scoutmaster Webb is making us all write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only 1 of our tents and 2 sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily, none of us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for Chad when it happened. Oh yes, please call Chad’s mother and tell her he is OK. He can’t write because of the cast. I got to ride in one of the search & rescue jeeps. It was neat. We never would have found him in the dark if it hadn’t been for the lightning. Scoutmaster Webb got mad at Chad for going on a hike alone without telling anyone. Chad said he did tell him, but it was during the fire so he probably didn’t hear him. Did you know that if you put gas on a fire, the gas can will blow up? The wet wood still didn’t burn, but one of our tents did. Also some of our clothes. John is going to look weird until his hair grows back. We will be home on Saturday if Scoutmaster Webb gets the car fixed. It wasn’t his fault about the wreck. The brakes worked OK when we left. Scoutmaster Webb said that a car that old you have to expect something to break down; that’s probably why he can’t get insurance on it. We think it’s a neat car. He doesn’t care if we get it dirty; and if it’s hot, sometimes he lets us ride on the tailgate. It gets pretty hot with 10 people in a car. He let us take turns riding in the trailer until the highway patrolman stopped and talked to us. Scoutmaster Webb is a neat guy. Don’t worry, he is a good driver. In fact, he is teaching Terry how to drive. But he only lets him drive on the mountain roads where there isn’t any traffic. All we ever see up there are logging trucks. This morning all of the guys were diving off the rocks and swimming out in the lake. Scoutmaster Webb wouldn’t let me because I can’t swim and Chad was afraid he would sink because of his cast, so he let us take the canoe across the lake. It was great. You can still see some of the trees under the water from the flood. Scoutmaster Webb isn’t crabby like some scoutmasters. He didn’t even get mad about the life jackets. He has to spend a lot of time working on the car so we are trying not to cause him any trouble. Guess what? We have all passed our first aid merit badges. When Dave dove in the lake and cut his arm, we got to see how a tourniquet works. Also Wade and I threw up. Scoutmaster Webb said it probably was just food poisoning from the leftover chicken. I have to go
now. We are going into town to mail our letters and buy bullets. Don’t worry about anything. We are fine.

Love,
Cole

P.S. How long has it been since I had a tetanus shot?

Get Icebreakers ebookIcebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

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The Window

Two men, both seriously ill, occupied the same hospital room. One man was allowed to sit up in his bed for an hour each afternoon to help drain the fluid from his lungs. His bed was next to the room’s only window. The other man had to spend all his time flat on his back.

The men talked for hours on end. They spoke of their wives and families, their homes, their jobs, their involvement in the military service, where they had been on vacation. And every afternoon when the man in the bed by the window could sit up, he would pass the time by describing to his roommate all the things he could see outside the window.

The man in the other bed began to live for those one-hour periods where his world would be broadened and enlivened by all the activity and color of the world outside. The window overlooked a park with a lovely lake. Ducks and swans played on the water while children sailed their model boats. Young lovers walked arm in arm amidst flowers of every color of the rainbow. Grand old trees graced the landscape, and a fine view of the city skyline
could be seen in the distance. As the man by the window described all this in exquisite detail, the man on the other side of the room would close his eyes and imagine the picturesque scene.

One warm afternoon the man by the window described a parade passing by. Although the other man couldn’t hear the band, he could see it in his mind’s eye as the gentleman by the window portrayed it with descriptive words.

Days and weeks passed. One morning, the day nurse arrived to bring water for their baths only to find the lifeless body of the man by the window, who had died peacefully in his sleep. She was saddened and called the hospital attendants to take the body away. As soon as it seemed appropriate, the other man asked if he could be moved next to the window.

The nurse was happy to make the switch, and after making sure he was comfortable, she left him alone.

Slowly, painfully, he propped himself up on one elbow to take his first look at the world outside. Finally, he would have the joy of seeing it for himself. He strained to slowly turn to look out the window beside the bed.

It faced a blank wall.

The man asked the nurse what could have compelled his deceased roommate who had described such wonderful things outside this window. The nurse responded that the man was blind and could not even see the wall. She said, “Perhaps he just wanted to encourage you.”

Epilogue
There is tremendous happiness in making others happy, despite our own situations. Shared grief is half the sorrow, but happiness when shared, is doubled. If you want to feel rich, just count all of the things you have that money can’t buy.

 


MORE IDEAS? See “Creative Object Lessons”

200 page e-book that explains everything you need to know when planning your very own object lessons. It contains 90 fully developed object lesson ideas and another 200 object lesson starter ideas based on Biblical idioms and Names / Descriptions of God.

Learn More…

Where is God?

In a certain suburban neighborhood, there were two brothers, 8 and 10 years old, who were exceedingly mischievous. Whenever something went wrong in the neighborhood, it turned out they had a hand in it.

Their parents were at their wits’ end trying to control them. Hearing about a minister nearby who worked with delinquent boys, the mother suggested to the father that they ask the minister to talk with the boys. The father agreed.

The mother went to the minister and made her request. He agreed, but said he wanted to see the younger boy first and alone. So the mother sent him to the minister. The minister sat the boy down on the other side of his huge, impressive desk. For about five minutes they just sat and stared at each other. To impress upon them that God was everywhere and saw everything they were doing, the minister pointed his forefinger at the boy and asked, “Where is God?” The boy looked under the desk, in the corners of the room, all around, but said nothing.

Again, louder, the minister pointed at the boy and asked, “Where is God?” Again the boy looked all around but said nothing. A third time, in a louder, firmer voice, the minister leaned far across the desk and put his forefinger almost to the boy’s nose, and asked “Where is God?” The boy panicked and ran all the way home.

Finding his older brother, he dragged him upstairs to their room and into the closet, where they usually plotted their mischief. He finally said, “We are in B-I-I-I-I-G trouble now!” The older boy asked, “What do you mean, B-I-I-I-I-G trouble?” His brother replied, “God is missing and they think we did it.”

Get Icebreakers ebookIcebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

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Freedom and Security

After the Western ideal of unlimited freedom, after the Marxist concept of freedom as acceptance of the yoke of necessity—here is the true Christian definition of freedom. Freedom is self-restriction! Restriction of the self for the sake of others!

-Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn