What can you do to help young people handle disappointment?

July 27, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

Here are some suggestions to help parents and youth workers to effectively teach young people how to handle disappointments that occur in their daily lives:

Try to see situations from the child’s point of view as well as your own.
If you are responsible for setting up an expectation the child has, then own that and take steps to set up and expectation that is better for both of you.
To make the change to more realistic expectations validate the child’s feelings of disappointment
Relate a time when you experienced disappointment
Verbalise the feelings. Show the child the words that describe the feeling as this will help them describe theirs.
Enable the child to see that our feelings do not have to equal our actions.
Ask questions like:
- Do you feel disappointed some sometimes?
- Do you feel disappointed because we usually do this and today we aren’t?
- Does that make you feel frustrated?
- Does it make you feel angry?
Choose your words carefully and emphasise the word ‘FEEL’. “When this happens, DO YOU FEEL ANGRY?” This question implies that anger is a feeling…not an action. It’s a completely different question to “When this happens ARE YOU ANGRY”, which implies angry actions which we do not want the child to engage in. What you ultimately want is for your child to recognise their emotions and over time learn how to decide on appropriate and effective positive actions. This is a very empowering process that develops with practice and allows the child to feel in control of themselves.
Model how you handle disappointment. Verbalise your own mental processes when you are experiencing disappointment.
And lastly, if you know a situation is coming up that will be naturally disappointing to the child, then prepare your child:
- Let them know what’s going to happen so they don’t let their anticipation build.
- Validate that this will be disappointing for them. This implies that it’s OK to feel disappointed but that you expect they will know how to handle the feeling…that you have confidence in them and this gives them personal power to cope.
- Do not bribe them to pacify them. This implies you do not have confidence in them and removes their personal power to cope.

Helping children and youths to handle the emotion of disappointment does not take any more time than not helping them to handle the emotion of disappointment. In fact, it may save you time, help your relationship and empower your child to experience more happiness in their life.

By Vicki Jardine, Director of Highly Successful Kids.
You can catch up with Vicki at:
/highlysuccessfulkids.com

Get Help on Your Youth Sermons

Creative Sermon Ideas
This 100 Page e-Book Includes All The Help You Need To Prepare Powerful, Life-Changing Youth Sermons That Will Turn Your Preaching Around And Make Your Youth Sit Up And Listen! Includes 7 Complete Sermons.
–> I want More Youth Sermon Ideas…

Devotional

Scars

July 22, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

“I’ve discovered something” I said.

“See, even as we get older we continue to learn,” he replied with a chuckle.

I took my dog, Phil, to the vet yesterday. When the doctor came into the room he was limping.

“Should I ask how you are doing?” I said.

“Oh, it’s my knee. They want me to really appreciate the operation I’m about to have so they delayed it another month so I could suffer more,” he replied.

It was then for the first time I actually showed my scar to someone.

“Look, I had an operation on my arm.”

My wife has been telling me that it really didn’t look bad. It was healing very nicely.

When I showed it to him and his assistant they said, “Eeeeeewe! That’s awful!”

So much for healing nicely.

That’s when I discovered something.

“Doc, when I was a kid and fell I remember showing all my friends because I thought it was “cool.” Having a scar at that age was like having a battle injury so you had to share it.”

I then pointed to a scar at the hairline on my forehead.

“That’s when I got hit with a door!” I said proudly.

“That explains so much, Bob,” he said laughing.

“Then I went into young adulthood and vanity took over. I was in a band and never wanted anything to scar this beautiful face of mine,” I said struggling to get it out without laughing.

“Now, at 59, I just now joined that group of older folks who are proud to compare operations, aches, pains and how many meds I have to take just to get through the day.”

I have overheard older folks trying to out do their friends by claiming their pain is worse or they have had more operations than the other.

The winner is the one who is in worse shape, I guess.

Then there are those at any age, who use physical and emotional scars as an excuse. The kind of excuse that holds them back, limits them, provides a crutch for why they are’nt happy or where they would like to be at this point in life.

“Too tall”…”too short”…”too fat”…”too thin”…
“my parents”…”my family”…”ever since my divorce”…”ever since we had children” and on and on.

All scars that never heal because we keep picking at them.

I swore I would never do that, yet, today I didn’t even hesitate to show Doc my scar.

It’s okay. I see it as reverting back to my childhood.

If you are of the Christian faith, I suggest that you turn to the One who bore the scars of death for you.

Then you will have no excuse.

What scars do you have?

If you would like to receive Bob’s Inspirational stories, please visit http://www.IWishYouEnough.com

MORE IDEAS? See “Creative Object Lessons”

200 page e-book that explains everything you need to know when planning your very own object lessons. It contains 90 fully developed object lesson ideas and another 200 object lesson starter ideas based on Biblical idioms and Names / Descriptions of God.

Learn More…

Game Ideas

Copycat

July 22, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

Youth Game Description
In this youth game idea, a person in the center of a group of youth must identify the leader who begins an action that everyone else in the youth group imitates.

Game Materials
None

Optimal Youth Group Size for Game
10-20 people but it can be played with less or more. For very large groups you may wish to split the youth group up into multiple circles.

Game Venue
This youth game can be played in any open area, indoors or outdoors

Game Preparation
Set up the game by getting everyone in the youth group to stand in a circle facing inwards.

Game Play

1. Ask one of the youth to leave the room for a minute. This youth will be “it” or the person who will try to identify the leader.
2. While he or she is out of the room, the rest of the group decides who will be the “leader.” The leader will be the youth who initiates the movements for that round of the game.
3. When the leader has been chosen, invite the youth who left the room back to stand in the center of the circle.
4. Each round begins with all the youth in the circle swinging their arms up and down.
5. The leader will initiate other movements, which the rest of the youth must copy. They must be careful to copy the leader without revealing who the leader is. They should not stare at the leader or identify the leader in any way.
6. The leader can do just about anything he or she wants. The more crazy the action, the more fun!
7. Here are some basic ideas: clapping, making a funny face, doing a karate kick, stamping a foot, act like a monkey, jump up and down, spin in place, pat his or her head, rub his or her belly, do a dance dance move, cross arms, pick his or her nose, etc.
8. The person in the center of the circle is allowed to make up to three guesses. If a guess is incorrect, the round continues. If the guess is correct, the leader takes the center position for the next round and must leave the room while a new leader is chosen from among the remaining youth. If all three guesses are used up and the leader is not correctly guessed, you can have the person in the center do a forfeit then select a new leader. Follow this link for some forfeit ideas

Take it to the Next Level
Leaders set the example for followers.

Game Debrief

In what ways do the actions of leaders set examples for others to follow?
What are some of the actions a leader should do to set an example for followers?
What are some of the characteristics that identify a person as a leader?
What are the qualities that are essential to leadership?
Who are some of the leaders in your life? What characteristics made them stand out as leaders?
What are some of the qualities of bad leaders? How can we avoid them?
Should we always blindly follow a person as a leader?
What are some different types of leaders?
Do leaders in different positions need to have different qualities? Explain.

Game Application
We are all called to be leaders. There will always be someone who looks up to us, who follows our example. As leaders, how can we set better examples for others? What is an area where you need to rise to the challenge of being a leader?

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

Game Ideas

Caterpillar Race

July 12, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

Game Description
Teams of youth move toward the finish line in small hops, connected like a caterpillar with many legs.

Game Materials
No additional game supplies are needed.

Optimal Group Size for Game
Any number of youth

Game Venue
You’ll need some space for youth to line up as teams as well as to move a good distance. This game can be played indoors or outdoors.

Game Preparation

You will need to designate the start and finish line in some way.
Divide the youth into teams of equal size, with at least 2 youth on each team.
Youth must choose a one-syllable name for each team.

Game Play

Line the teams of youth up next to each other behind a starting line.
Youth must place their hands on the shoulders of the team members in front of them. They are not allowed to lose contact with the person’s shoulder at any time. If a person loses contact with the person in front of them the entire team must move back to the start.
The first person in each line hops one step forward. The next person in line then also takes a hop. Continue down the line until the last person in line hops one step forward. Players may move forward only by hopping one step forward with both feet at once.
After the last person in line hops, he or she must shout out the name of the team.
Then the whole team may hop one step forward at the same time.
The whole process then begins again with the first person taking a single hop. The next, etc.
If a team member breaks any of the above rules, it must return to the starting line and begin again.
First team to completely cross the finish line wins.

Go for the Gold
Need an evangelistic Youth Camp/ Bible Study Series with an Olympic Theme?

What is salvation all about? What does it mean to be saved? This sports themed Bible Study / Camp Curriculum uses the Olympic Flag to introduce the concepts of sin (black circle), forgiveness (red circle), purity (white background), spiritual growth (green circle), heaven (Yellow Circle) and (Baptism) blue circle.
-> Tell me about “Go for the Gold”

Destined to Win
Need a Youth Camp/ Bible Study Series on “Running the Christian Race”?

The race as a metaphor for the Christian life is used in several places in the Bible. This series is a great follow up for new Christians or to re-emphasize the basics of our spiritual Journey in the Faith. This Bible Study / Camp Curriculum has a sports theme and is great for athletes as well as a tie in to the youth Olympic Games.
->Tell me about “Destined to Win”

Humor

Noah’s Wife

June 28, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

A preacher, ending his sermon, announced that he would preach on Noah and his Ark on the following Sunday and gave the scriptural reference for the congregation to read ahead of time. A couple of Sunday school boys noticed something interesting about the placement of the story of the Flood in the Bible, so they de-cided to have some fun. They slipped into the church and glued two pages of the pulpit Bible together.

On the next Sunday, the preacher got up to read his text. ‘Noah took unto himself a wife.’ he began, ‘and she was’ — he turned the page to continue — ‘three hundred cubits long, fifty cu-bits wide and thirty cubits high.’

He paused, scratched his head, turned the page back and read it silently, turned the page. Then he looked up at his congregation and said. ‘I’ve been studying this Bible for almost fifty years, but there are still some things in it that are hard to believe.’

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

Game Ideas

Clothes Line Relay

June 27, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

Number of Players: two equal teams of any number
Location: open area able to accommodate the entire group
Materials: clothesline, clothes

The players are divided into 2 teams. Each team is given a sack of clothes. Place an equal number of clothes in each sack and of the same type. You could choose a shirt, a cap, a pair of socks and trousers. At the command the first player of each team runs with the sack to the clothes line and pins all items on the clothesline and returns to his team. The next person must run to the clothes line, put on all the clothes and return to his team where he removes them and places them in the sack. Repeat until all team members have gone with the first team to do so being declared the victors!

Can be used for a lesson about putting on the armor of God, putting on the new self in Christ, etc.

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

Game Ideas

Dog Biscuit Relay

June 26, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

Number of Players: equal teams of any number
Location: open area able to accommodate the entire group
Materials: clothespins and dog biscuits

Give group members each a pinch-type clothespin to put in their mouth so the clothespin can be opened and closed with their teeth. Have each team form a straight line, with each team member down on all fours (like a dog) facing in the same direction so that they are side by side. Put dogfood or regular bowls with 10 to 12 dog biscuits in each on the floor in front of each team’s line. The first person in each team’s line must take the dog biscuits out of the bowl, one at a time, using the clothespin in his or her: mouth. The biscuits are then passed on to the next person and so on down the line. If a biscuit is dropped, the person who dropped it must pick it up with the clothespin. No hands are allowed at any time. Teams must stay in a straight line and remain on hands and knees throughout the relay. The first team to put all its biscuits in the bowl at the end of the line wins.

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

Icebreakers

Left Holding the Bag – Game Idea

June 14, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

Game Description
This game is based on the familiar English idiom to be “left holding the bag.” “Left holding the bag” refers to a situation when a person is abandoned by others involved so that they bear the blame or responsibility. Example: Everyone rushed home after the party left the room in a mess so the youth leader was “left holding the bag”. The phrase is a variation of one which dates back to about 1600 — to “give one the bag (to hold)” in which a person was left with an empty bag while others took all the valuable contents.

Game Materials

A bag (You can use just about any bag for this but the game is more fun if it is a cloth bag that makes very little sound when dropped.)
You’ll also need solid chairs for everyone as things usually get a little wild with youth diving for chairs. There should be one less chair than the number of participants.

Game Preparation

All the youth are seated in a circle and one youth stands in the middle holding a bag.
Safety Tip: Place the chairs in a tight circle with no gaps or you might have some youth miss the chairs and end up on the floor!

Game Play

Select one youth to be in the center of the circle, “Holding the bag”.
The youth in the middle of the circle must then walk around the circle and take the hand of another seated youth. (If you have an almost equal mix of girls and guys you can ask them to grab the hand of someone of the opposite sex.)
That person then leaves his/her chair and takes the hand of another youth and so on.
This continues until the first youth drops the bag and everyone runs to a seat.
The youth left without a seat picks up the bag and the game begins again.

Variations
Play a few rounds and then add some items to the bag:

Slips of paper, each with icebreaker styled questions like: “what is your Favorite Ice-cream? Most embarrassing moment? Happiest memory? Best vacation? Favorite movie? Favorite book?” etc.
Slips of paper with a forfeit on each one. You can find examples of forfeits here: Game Forfeits
Slips of paper with review questions from a previous lesson.
Slips of paper with personal questions to introduce the topic of the next lesson.
Charades that youth will need to act out for the rest of the youth to guess. (Can give points and have girls vs guys teams for the guessing)
Items of clothing in the bag (pillowcase) – youth must pull something out and wear it.

Take it to the Next Level

In real life, have you ever been left “holding the bag?” What happened?
What feelings might a person have when they are forced to take the blame for someone else’s actions?
Are there times when we let others take the blame for things we have done?
Was Jesus “left holding the bag” when the disciples abandoned him at his arrest? Is it the same thing? Why or why not?

While we have to take responsibility for our own sins, Jesus wants to take the blame – He has stood in our place to take the punishment for us. There may still be consequences, but through His death on the cross we receive God’s forgiveness. He took the punishment for us!

Icebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

Devotional

Gather or Scatter

June 10, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

Matthew 12:30 “He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters.

I love playing games, not all the time but sometimes. It’s easy to get burned out playing them too much so I try to only play them once in a while.

One game I never want to play again is 52 pick up. I’m sure most of us are familiar with 52 pick up. We probably learned it from our mean older brother or sister who one day approached us all nice and friendly. For a moment it seemed like they were your best friend as they asked you if you would like to play a game. Sure you said, what shall we play? How does 52 pick up sound they reply? You’re just so happy that they would even ask that you let down your guard and you say “yes”. That’s when you find out just how rotten older siblings can be. They take the whole deck of cards, all 52 and they throw them into the air scattering them all over the floor in a huge mess. As they walk away they say with a grin, “okay pick them up”.

You know as Christians we have to be careful of making messes with our lives. Jesus said “He who is not with me is against me, and he who does not gather with me scatters.” There are lots of times in our lives when we think we’ve finally got it together. We swear that this time it’s going to be different, I’m going to live for God no matter what. But what happens? In a couple of days or weeks we find that were right back in a rut.

Why? I think the most important reason is because we fail to act on what we claim is true. In other words, we say we believe in God but it’s not evident in the way we live our lives. I mean how many times have we heard that lust is wrong? Yet we look for images on the web or the television that cause us to lust. What about swearing? We know from God’s word that it’s wrong to swear so why do we do it? And what about coveting? We know that it’s wrong too yet still we want what we want and we act as though we could never be happy till we get it.

We’re supposed to be the light of the world, the ones who carry the message of hope and love to the lost. When we tell them we’re saved and that they need what we’ve got do you think it’s going to mean anything when they see how we really live? You don’t act any better than them and you’re going to tell them they need what you’ve got. Hey don’t blame them if they don’t take you seriously because honestly neither do you.

When Christians live this way they aren’t helping they’re hurting, they’re not gathering instead they’re scattering. In order to truly change we need to stop playing the same old games with our faith. Quit doing what you know from God’s Word is wrong and do what is right. Is it easy? No! is it hard? Sometimes, but that’s the cost of sacrifice. Until you’re willing to truly give up the junk in your life. Until you’re willing to put your life under God’s microscope and say Lord help me to hate what you hate and love what you love. How much gathering do you really expect to get done? How much change should you really expect?

The reason we struggle so much is because deep down inside we really don’t want to change. Our sinful nature is at war with the Spirit inside us trying to get us to do what we know is wrong. It’s the voice inside that says it will make you feel good if you just give it a try. Your faith is what gives you the strength to live above your emotions though. It’s what should drive you to do whats right not because it feels good or because it feels right but because you know it’s right and it’s what God wants you to do. If by faith you can’t live above your emotions then I ask you how strong is your faith?

2 Corinthians 5:7-10 “We live by faith, not by sight. We are confident, I say, and would prefer to be away from the body and at home with the Lord. So we make it our goal to please him, whether we are at home in the body or away from it. 10For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive what is due him for the things done while in the body, whether good or bad. “

Contributed by Rob Heverling (robhev@yahoo.com>

MORE IDEAS? See “Creative Object Lessons”

Learn More…

Teaching Illustrations

Calling All Teachers

June 9, 2009 kensapp Leave a comment

Once upon a time, there was a church staff looking for teachers for children and preschoolers and youth.

And some adults said, “I don’t want to leave the sweet fellowship and study in my adult class.” (But the drug pusher on the street said, “Not even the threat of jail will keep me from working with your children.”)

And some adults said, “I could never give the time required to plan and go to teachers’ meetings.” (But the pusher, the porno book dealer, and the movie producer said, “We’ll stay open whatever hours are necessary everyday to win the minds of the kids.”)

And some adults said, “I’m unsuited, untrained, unable to work with children, preschoolers or youth. (But the movie producer said, “We’ll study, survey, spend millions to produce whatever turns kids on.”)

So, the adults stayed in their classes and enjoyed the sweet fellowship and absorbed the good Bible Study, and could go out of town often on the weekend and were available to do whatever was good to do on Wednesday or Sunday nights instead of teachers’ meetings.

And when Sunday came, the children came to their classes and no one was there except the church staff going from one room to another trying to assure them that someone would surely come to teach them some Sunday soon. But no one ever came, and the young children soon quit coming because they had gone to listen to others who did care about the things they did and what went into their minds….

MORE IDEAS? See “Creative Object Lessons”

Learn More…

Creative Youth ideas: 1700+ Resources for youth leaders, pastors, ministers to help plan camps, retreats, and meetings using games, illustrations, Children's Worship, Bible Studies, object lessons, sermons, creative ideas,creative activities