Federal Government Employee Performance Evaluations

Actual quotes from federal government employee performance evaluations:

  • “Since my last report, he has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.”
  • “His men would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.”
  • “I would not allow this employee to breed.”
  • “This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of a definitely won’t be.”
  • “Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.”
  • “When she opens her mouth, it seems that this is only to change whichever foot was previously in there.”
  • “He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.”
  • “This young lady has delusions of adequacy.”
  • “She sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.”
  • “This employee should go far – and the sooner he starts, the better.”
  • “This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.”

If God were writing a performance evaluation about your life what might he write? 

Source: Internet Circulation

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In Everything Give Thanks

Scripture: 1 Thessalonians 5:17-18
“Pray without ceasing. In every thing give thanks: for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus concerning you.”

Materials

  • Several pairs of scissors
  • newspapers and magazines
  • blank thank you notes
  • pens or pencils

Preparation

  • Set the scissors and the pile of newspapers and magazines in the center of the room / table.

What to Do

  1. “Search through the newspapers and magazines and find one story about someone experiencing either good or bad circumstances. Cut out the story using the scissors for easy reference.”
  2. Once everyone has a story, collect them into a pile and shuffle them up. Walk around the room and ask each youth to take the story on the top of the pile.
  3. Give each person a blank thank you note and a pen or pencil.
  4. “Read through the story you’ve been given and write a thank you note to God. Express how you would be thankful in the circumstances your story describes.”
  5. When youth have finished writing their Thank You notes, have each youth, in turn, read his or her thank you note aloud. (You cab do this in pairs or small groups if you have many youth group members).
  6. Then youth to respond to each circumstance: “In the circumstance you read about, how would being thankful affect your perspective?”

Take it to the Next Level
God wants us to be thankful in all circumstances — in both good situations and bad ones. Being thankful changes our perspective. It helps us take our eyes off ourselves and the circumstances and look to God instead.

Closing
Finish the meeting by having a time of prayer where each youth can have an opportunity to express prayerful thanks to God for the events in their lives.

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A Mentor is like an Excavator

excavator.jpgThe mentor carves out and helps to create a space where learning can occur. It has boundaries of confidentiality, structure, and guidance, but is open. It is a safe place where both can be vulnerable with their questions, struggles, emotions and doubts. There is space for ideas, curiosity, wonder, and joy. It is a space in which the mundane, the ordinary can be a container of grace. It is a space in which the mentor is given increasing permission to ask the tough questions that will penetrate the masks most of us wear. It is a space where the protégé has no fear to confess failings and progress, to entrust the secrets of his heart, and reveal all his plans.


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It Makes Sense

Game Description
Use your senses to identify common objects and items.

Game Materials
Lunch Bags, Small Household Items (depending on which senses you want to use in the game); Stapler; Paper; Pen; Marker

Game Preparation

  1. Prepare several lunch bags with one item in each bag. The number of bags can be adjusted depending on the time you have to play the game. You can use items that can be found around the house – (i.e. comb, pen, etc) or items can be acccording to a specific category like office supplies, foods, tools, cosmetics, etc to suit a party theme. Fold over the top of the bag and staple closed.
  2. With a marker, number the bags on the outside.

Game Play

  1. Participants examine one numbered bag at a time, and try to identify the contents ONLY by feeling the them through the bag.
  2. Ask participants to number their paper according to the number of bags, and record their answers next to the appropriate numbers corresponding to each bag.
  3. When all the participants have identified the items, reveal what is in each bag. The winner is the participant who correctly guessed the most items.

Game Variations

  • Touch – use items with various textures (i.e. hard, sandpaper, soft, bumpy, feather, cotton, fur, felt, hairbrush etc that have identifying characteristics. You can also use simple items like staplers etc) You can allow them to rech inside the bag, without looking and feel the item inside the bag or for simply objects they just feel through the bag.
  • Smell – Use 2-3 tablespoons of spices, fruits, or other items with strong characteristic smells. (i.e. orange peel, pepper, cinnamon, oregano, onion, etc. These might be best in a cloth bag or punch a few very small holes in the paper bag with a needle so the scents can escape.

Get Icebreakers ebookIcebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

Actual Newspaper Headlines

  • newspaper.jpgBritish Left Waffles on Falkland Islands
  • Eye Drops off Shelf
  • Reagan Wins on Budget, But More Lies Ahead
  • Squad Helps Dog Bite Victim
  • Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
  • Miners Refuse to Work after Death
  • Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
  • Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies
  • Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter
  • Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years
  • Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84
  • If Strike isn’t Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
  • Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
  • Enfields Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
  • Red Tape Holds Up New Bridge
  • Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
  • Man Struck by Lightning Faces Battery Charge
  • New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
  • Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
  • Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
  • British Union Finds Dwarfs in Short Supply
  • Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
  • Air Head Fired
  • Steals Clock, Faces Time
  • Old School Pillars are Replaced by Alumni
  • Man Loses Legs, Vows to Continue Arms Protest

Source: Internet circulation

Get Icebreakers ebookIcebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

Famous Mentors: Andrew Carnegie

andrew_carnegie.jpgAt one time, Andrew Carnegie was the wealthiest man in America. He went there from his native Scotland when he was a small boy, did a variety of jobs, and eventually ended up as the largest steel producer in the United States. At one time he had 43 millionaires working for him. In those days a millionaire was a rare person; conservatively speaking, a million dollars in Carnegie’s day would be the equivalent to at least $20 million today. A reporter asked Carnegie how he had managed to hire 43 millionaires. Carnegie responded that those men had not been millionaires when they started working for him, but had become millionaires as a result. The reporter’s next question was: “How did you develop these men to become so valuable to you that you have paid them this much money?” Carnegie replied: “Men are developed the same way that gold is mined. When gold is mined, several tons of dirt must be moved to get an ounce of gold; but one doesn’t go into the mine looking for dirt – one goes in looking for the gold.”


MORE IDEAS? See “Creative Object Lessons”

200 page e-book that explains everything you need to know when planning your very own object lessons. It contains 90 fully developed object lesson ideas and another 200 object lesson starter ideas based on Biblical idioms and Names / Descriptions of God.

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Rejection Letter

Dear Mr. _______:

Thank you for your letter of May 1. After careful consideration, I regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to offer me employment with your firm. This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising field of candidates, it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.

Despite your company’s outstanding qualifications and previous experience in rejecting applicants, I find that your rejection does not meet with my needs at this time. Therefore, I will initiate employment with your firm immediately following the New Year. I look forward to seeing you then.

Best of luck in rejecting future candidates.

Sincerely,
New Employee

Source: Internet Circulation

Get Icebreakers ebookIcebreakers Ahead: Take It To the Next Level

This 170 page resource not only provides 52 of the world’s most popular group icebreaker activities and games, but also includes lesson ideas and discussion questions to smoothly transition into conversations about the issues common to most groups.

Click here to find out how to get your hands on this incredible resource!

Why

Check out his incredible video. The singer is Nicole Nordeman.
Why

Thanks to Charissa Ee at The Orange Chalk for pointing me to this.


MORE IDEAS? See “Creative Object Lessons”

200 page e-book that explains everything you need to know when planning your very own object lessons. It contains 90 fully developed object lesson ideas and another 200 object lesson starter ideas based on Biblical idioms and Names / Descriptions of God.

Learn More…

A Mentor is like a Microphone

microphone.jpgAs a sensitive microphone picks up smallest sounds and amplifies them, a mentor listens to the smallest details of life and helps the protégé to hear them. A mentor is primarily a listener. The best mentor is one whose “own ear is turned toward the wisdom of others, who is always open to listen, to hear, and to transform life.” He is to attentively observe the protégé with love, compassion, genuine concern and interest. He is to have a vulnerablity in which he says “all of me listens to all of you” The mentor must listen carefully to the protégé, his story, and his needs. He must also listen to what is not said and how things are said. He must also listen to his own heart and instincts as a mentor, the stirrings, consonance, and dissonance. When the protégé is “listened to, probed, encouraged, challenged, and helped to hear, then the mentor has come alongside to help him.”


Get "Creative Sermon Ideas" eBook

Get Help on Your Youth Sermons

Creative Sermon Ideas
This 100 Page e-Book Includes All The Help You Need To Prepare Powerful, Life-Changing Youth Sermons That Will Turn Your Preaching Around And Make Your Youth Sit Up And Listen! Includes 7 Complete Sermons.
–> I want More Youth Sermon Ideas…