Category | Humor

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What if God had voice mail ?

Imagine praying and hearing this:
“Thank you for calling My Father’s House. Please select one of the following four options:
Press 1 for requests…
press 2 for thanksgiving….
press 3 for complaints…
and Press 4 for all other inquiries.”

What if God used the familiar excuse:
“All the angels are helping other customers right now. Please stay on the line…your call will be
answered in the order it was received.”

Can you imagine getting these kind of responses as you called on God in prayer!…
“If you would like to speak with Gabriel, press 1..
Michael, press 2…
for any other angel, press 3.
And if you would like King David to sing psalm for you, press 4.”

“To find out if a loved one has been assigned to Heaven, enter his or her social security number.”

“For reservations at My Father’s House, press the letters J-O-H-N followed by the numbers 316.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth and where Noah’s ark is,
wait until you get here”.

“Our computers show that you have called once today already. Please hang up immediately. This office is closed for the weekend. Please call again on Monday after 9:00 a.m.”

Thank God!…you don’t call Him too often…. you only need to ring once and God hears you. You’ll never get a busy signal. God takes each call and knows each caller personally.

“When you call, the Lord will answer. You will cry for help and He will say “Here I am.” ” Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me when you search for me with all your heart.” (Jer 29:12-13).

Thank goodness I have never called Him and was told His computer was down.

-Author Unknown

 

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